A viral Reddit post has ignited debate over wedding etiquette after a woman said she discreetly told her best friend -- the bride -- that she smelled during her outdoor wedding ceremony, only to be blamed later for "ruining" the day.
"I would applaud her," Kim Rippy, a certified mental health professional, told Newsweek. Rippy, who specializes in anxiety, stress and relationship issues, said the friend acted with care. "It sounds like the woman made the decision to help the bride avoid embarrassment and to feel more confident through the rest of her reception with friends and family."
The original post, shared to Reddit by the woman under u/askingaitaquestion, has since been upvoted more than 7,000 times. It describes a midday wedding on the West Coast where the 27-year-old noticed the bride was visibly sweaty and had body odor during the reception.
"I discreetly tell her, since that's what we usually do for each other," she said.
According to the post, the bride -- also 27 -- excused herself to freshen up, and the friend did the same.
"When I returned, she was back, and she smelled great again. I thought I did good," she added.
That optimism did not last. After returning from her honeymoon, the bride told her friend the moment had made her feel self-conscious for the rest of the day and accused her of making her feel bad.
"She said she's mad at me for ruining her big day," the woman said.
Rippy told Newsweek that kind of response may signal more than just hurt feelings.
"If the bride were my client, I would invite her to explore her reactions towards her friend for telling her," she said. "I would challenge her to imagine the woman's perspective and intention behind telling her -- assuming positive intent is key here, especially with a best friend."
The bride's reaction may have been amplified by social anxiety or other emotional stress due to the big day, according to Rippy.
"It's likely the bride's reaction wasn't actually about the woman telling her, but about a bigger fear or anxiety she continued to experience throughout the reception," she said. "She projected that onto her friend."
Support from Reddit users came quickly. One commenter praised the friend for stepping in, writing: "Better a quick heads up than walking around all day not knowing."
To navigate similar situations, Rippy suggests what she calls the "five-second rule."
"If you notice something amiss with someone's appearance...and it would only take them five seconds to fix, you should tell them," she said.
As for repairing the friendship, Rippy recommends a candid discussion to clear the air.
"If either person were my client, I would highly recommend they have a conversation about it," she said. "This conversation provides information, empathy, connection, and a plan for future action, resulting in closure."
Newsweek reached out to u/askingAITAquestion for more information via Reddit.