VANCOUVER, British Columbia -- Iryna, an elderly Ukrainian woman, along with her husband, Oleg, told ABC News that they spent around three weeks in Mariupol at the very beginning of Russia's full-scale invasion, when the Kremlin's army was storming the city, surrounding Ukrainian troops and civilians in it.
The couple, along with others ABC News spoke with, have had their families split apart in the years since the full-scale Russian invasion began.
In conversations with those who've visited Mariupol after the Russian occupation or plan to return there no matter what, and those who are living abroad, many expressed grief for the city as it once was. Others also looked to the future, wondering how the city and its leadership may change in the years to come.
"Remember the Oscars-winning documentary '20 Days in Mariupol?' It was about us and our survival during these days," said Iryna, who along with her husband asked to use just first names for safety reasons.
According to her, she was confident that the Ukrainian military was covertly staying in the city, using some abandoned residential buildings to trace the Russian army maneuvers.
"We were asking them to stay away from the area where civilians were hiding in the basements, but they were saying that they are just following the orders," said Iryna, complaining that some of the Ukrainian soldiers were very rude with people.
But when Russians came, the situation even got worse. According to her, they were doing so-called cleaning of all the residential buildings in the area and people were supposed to leave their doors open.
"It was Russian soldiers, possibly, even Kadyrov troops members, who broke the doors to our apartment," she said, referring to National Guard of Russia troops based in Chechnya.
At that time Iryna and Oleg were already outside Mariupol -- the family managed to cross the checkpoints, heading to their relatives in Russia.
"Our doors were closed, so they just smashed the lock and entered the apartment," said Iryna. Later, she received the video from the apartment made by her neighbors: everything was out of the closets and drawers.
"It looked as if they were searching for some money or jewelry," Iryna said.
Later, since the apartment remained unlocked, probably some marauders apparently stole all their kitchen appliances, electronics and other valuable family belongings.
The couple did not stay long in Russia -- one of their children helped Iryna and Oleg obtain Canadian visas and welcomed them in a newly rented townhouse in Vancouver, British Columbia, in the late spring of 2022.
But in less than two years the couple returned to Mariupol -- Oleg insisted that they should live in their own apartment, surrounded by familiar people, who speak their native language.
At the same time, Russia did not appear ready to easily embrace the returning refugees: "The border guard in Moscow airport was not even willing to let us into the country -- the officer said to me that if I had moved to Canada I should have stayed in Canada and never come back," recalled Iryna.
Despite this hostile attitude, after several hours of arguing, the family was granted the permission to continue their way home, and in a couple of days they reached Mariupol.
"It was hard to recognize our city," said Oleg. According to him, the Russians were restoring the residential buildings in Mariupol. Although some were demolished to the ground, new ones were built as well.
The family's multistory building managed to survive the hostilities, and local inhabitants who had stayed appeared to them to be living in it as if nothing had happened.
"For people in Mariupol it is very important to have their own roof over their heads," explained Oleg said, confirming that it is a common thing when people tend to value their own home above safety and some missing conveniences of civilization -- running elevator, water or natural gas.
According to him, the city inhabitants were feeling betrayed when it became known that Mariupol's mayor and his administration had left the city in the first days of the full-scale Russian aggression.
"Now, these people have no right to criticize the new, appointed by Moscow authorities, who are running the city," he said.
Oleg said he now tends to see positive changes in the city: "Mariupol is resurrecting now from the ruins as the Russians are rebuilding it under the supervision of Moscow and especially St. Petersburg authorities since [that] former capital of the Russian empire is Mariupol's sister city," he said.
Much of Mariupol was destroyed during the Russian army's two-month assault in the spring of 2022. At least 8,000 residents of the city died amid the siege, according to Human Rights Watch. Many others fled.
The couple said they were especially satisfied with the new Russian pensions they received after returning to Mariupol and obtaining Russian passports. The amount of money was incomparably higher than their previous Ukrainian pensions, they said, because the occupiers' administration tends to give more money to former Ukrainian citizens than to the originally retired Russians.
"As if they want to persuade the people that there is no other choice than to accept the new, more attractive reality," Oleg said.
But the Ukrainian administration of the city was doing pretty much the same in 2014 to 2022, recalled Olga, the couple's daughter, who also asked to use a pseudonym and who moved from Mariupol at first to the Ukrainian capital, Kyiv, and then to Canada.
"The city was getting better and visibly nicer every year -- a lot of funds were obviously invested into social infrastructure, cultural events and it was the Russian invasion that destroyed everything," said Olga.
Nevertheless, after just one summer spent in occupied Mariupol, Oleg and Iryna left the city once again and, using both Russian and Ukrainian passports, went back to Canada.
According to Iryna, they came up with that decision as it was safer to survive winter far from the frontlines, in a peaceful city with warm buildings and running elevators.
At the same time, she denies any opportunistic motives: "We are not waiting here for some permanent residency or other legal status in Canada; we are still planning to return home one day," said Iryna.
On one hand, she would like to stay with her granddaughter; but she described Oleg as being very stubborn, saying he is insistent on returning to Mariupol.
Others who fled Mariupol are dealing with similar feelings -- feeling the pull of their hometown but knowing that the city will never be the same while under Russian control.
Maria, whose name was also changed at her request for security reasons, a young student of one of the universities in Vancouver, said she has no plans to return to Mariupol under Russian occupation.
Her big family also managed to get out from besieged city through Russia; most of its members live now in Germany.
But her grandmother returned to Mariupol after she learnt that her husband had survived Russian invasion.
“When she was going with us to Germany, she was sure that he was killed as the area he lived in was under heavy Russian shelling,” said Maria: “Grandma was hoping to get him out of Mariupol as well, but when he refused, she stayed with him.”
Due to her academic contacts and willingness to continue her education in social studies, she went to Sweden for one year and then moved to Canada although Vancouver itself was some kind of terra incognita for her.
Maria has been living in Vancouver since late 2023.
"The main difference between Mariupol and Vancouver, as I see it, is the way everyday life is unfolding there and here. Despite hard work in Mariupol, I had much more connections with the city; more touching points with it and people around. Mariupol, as she remembered it, is a city of contradictions in its everyday life: 'On one hand you have sea and beach that symbolize freedom for me in some way; but on other hand this freedom was limited to role of big industrial center when your whole life was organized around work on these huge factories,'" explained Maria.
For Maria, the whole eastern Ukrainian region of Donbas—which is now mostly occupied by Russia—used to be a place for everyone where anybody could melt into crowd.
"One might feel freedom there in some sense that is hard to feel for me in here—in Vancouver—it was a feeling that in order to keep living and stay in touch with rest of world you do not have put in a lot of efforts," said Maria.
One of her most beautiful memories of Mariupol—as she described it—was when she was walking along near drama theater during last days before war broke out in February 2022: “That day there city was covered with magnificent fog and that picture still stands in front of my eyes.”
In several days that theater would be destroyed—possibly by Russian bomb—despite hundreds of civilians were hiding in its basement and word “children” displayed in huge letters on ground in its front.
Now, the Russians are trying to restore the theater -- probably, to make it one of many new signs to demonstrate the qualitative transformations in the war-torn city, according to local reports that cite former Ukrainian city officials.
But Maria said she is more concerned with the fate of people, not buildings. She tries to spend as much time as possible with her mother, brother and other family members, using every opportunity to fly to Germany.
The girl is also staying in touch with her grandmother and step-grandfather.
Although she communicates with them over social media almost every day,it is hard for her to understand how it feels to be in Mariupol right now.
According to Maria,she often feels that her grandmother is under pressure to censor herself.
For example,hher grandmother is justifying need obtain Russian passport gain access health care social services,”said Maria.And when Maria was asking about procedures undergone,”Maria said,”her grandmother started answering question but,some point stopped,saying might dangerous talk about it,and she afraid reveal sensitive information.”
“That’s such contrast hear almost nothing person used comment every political issue,”said Maria.
But she is not judging her relatives under Russian occupation as she completely understands origins this self-censorship.“In my opinion some kind individual way accepting new reality,”said Maria.
According her people just do not fully understand risk living city if stays under occupation.
“My grandmother husband considering possibility family reunion return Mariupol someday,but only perspective anticipation,”she said.
Maria insists that only chance meet now somewhere different country where can go without Ukrainian passport.
“It’s hard them understand impossible me visit them Mariupol;why cannot simply return native city while occupied Russians,”she said.
In her dreams Maria sometimes back Mariupol but not times peace before war:“There are only Russian border guards my obsessive dreams my city already under Russian occupation. It’s very difficult explain why,but I see them quite often as I sleep. For instance,in my dream I’m train heading Finland Germany,but at some point,the passengers being told from now on train going Russian territory that’s how meet Russian border guards once again.”