A 23-year-old woman who once embraced the "stay-at-home girlfriend" lifestyle has gone viral for publicly rejecting it -- and warning others of the psychological and financial costs behind the way of life that has been glamorized online.
Diana Sidva, a content creator based in Portugal, spoke to Newsweek after the video she posted to Instagram drew widespread attention for challenging the often-aspirational view of the role. In her video, Sidva (@dianasidva) criticized what she described as the "Pilates matcha lifestyle," saying it can leave women without direction or independence later in life.
"Pilates matcha lifestyle is overrated, let's talk about it," Sidva said in the clip. "I don't want to be a trophy wife anymore, a stay-at-home girlfriend, I'm done, no judgment at all... I just want to share with you my experience and maybe save you years of therapy."
Sidva then told Newsweek: "Like many women, I internalized the idea that society often promotes, that the most important goal was to marry well and that everything else would somehow fall into place through that.
"That perspective changed after my last relationship, where my lack of independent income led to me being treated poorly."
The video resonated with many while also sparking debate. The conversation touches on a growing online narrative glamorizing young women who stay home -- unmarried and without children. While their partners work, these women are often portrayed keeping on top of Pilates classes, matcha dates with friends, nail appointments and of course, making use of their partner's luxury cars to get to all of the above.
Sidva, who used to document this lifestyle herself, says the popular portrayal is misleading.
"On social media, we usually see only the most beautiful side of this lifestyle," she told Newsweek. "Designer bags, endless beauty products, and the idea that all of this comes without effort or consequences. What is rarely discussed is the power dynamic behind it."
Sidva warned that women in these dynamics may lose autonomy: "Even unintentionally, a sense of control can begin to form. Over time, it can create the impression that a woman cannot function or survive independently without that support.
"In relationships where there is no financial independence, it can become difficult for a woman to fully recognize her own values and sense of self."
The post she shared also highlighted her view that such arrangements often limit women's intellectual growth and long-term equality.
"Imagine arriving in their 40s where he had 20 last years of using his brain every day and dealing with problems every day... What she did for the last 20 years? Going to Pilates and choosing nail color,"
she told viewers.
The rise of the stay-at-home girlfriend follows the resurgence of the tradwife movement, which idealized traditional gender roles and domesticity.
Among Gen Z, this evolved into the glamorization of soft, hyper-feminine lifestyles marked by self-care routines, luxury esthetics and passive partnership roles. TikTok videos showcasing slow mornings, matcha lattes, Pilates classes, and partner-funded shopping trips have turned this lifestyle into an aspirational brand -- one that promises ease, beauty and financial comfort, but often omits the trade-offs in autonomy.
Mental health professionals say Sidva's concerns are not unfounded. John Puls, a licensed psychotherapist and adjunct professor based in Florida, told Newsweek the "stay-at-home girlfriend" label refers to a potentially risky arrangement.
"This is problematic and puts women in a potentially exploitative situation," Puls explained. "These women are often younger, don't have a career to fall back on, and likely haven't finished any post high school education. This will leave women with a feeling of being trapped and potentially staying in abusive or otherwise unhealthy relationships for financial stability."
Elika Dadsetan, a clinically trained social worker, said the lack of financial independence may undermine emotional development.
"Work, education, and independent responsibility are not just about income; they're how people build resilience, skills, and a sense of competence,"
she told Newsweek. "The issue isn't staying home; it's whether the arrangement expands or contracts a woman's future options. But the appeal makes sense in the context of burnout, economic precarity, and disillusionment with hustle culture. For some young women, the stay-at-home girlfriend narrative promises rest and safety."
Clinician and author Colette Jane Fehr echoed the concern, telling Newsweek: "On the surface it might seem like a life of ease, but what you're really doing is killing your own dreams and aspirations. This is especially troublesome for young women because this is the time in their life when they find out who they really are... When you take that away, in time what happens is these women will feel left behind."
For Sidva, stepping away from the lifestyle became a personal turning point.
"It pushed me to prove, first and foremost to myself, that a woman can build her own career, income, and future independently, without relying on anyone else,"
she said.
Sidva said the intense response to her video revealed just how divisive the topic remains.
"I received messages from women who felt seen and relieved that someone expressed doubts they had been afraid to voice, as well as criticism from others who felt the lifestyle was being judged,"
she added. "The reaction highlights how relevant and necessary this conversation is."