Gemma Collins says she has finally 'redeemed' herself after quitting I'm A Celeb in just three days when she first appeared on the show 12 years ago.
The TOWIE star, 45, signed up for the ITV show's All Stars instalment, filmed in South Africa last year, and admits she 'felt like Lara Croft' tackling the 'terrifying' trials.
She confessed that after over a decade of feeling like a 'black cloud' hung over her head following her onscreen meltdown in Australia, quitting the show over her fears in just three days, she has finally proven herself.
Speaking about her determination to move on from her 2014 experience, which turned Gemma into a meme and viral clip, she said at Monday's I'm A Celeb All Stars launch: 'Obviously, it didn't work out for me the first time around.
'When I got asked to do it again, I thought I had spent my whole life with this black cloud hanging over my head. I am older now, I just thought, I have to do this before whatever happens to me in my life, I must go back into that jungle. It was one regret I had. This was a total redemption from me.
'On a real one, I went in there as Gemma Collins and it's like the GC is the bravado and she'll have a laugh and whatever, but I was so stripped bare because I knew it was so disastrous the time before.'
Gemma has explained that, despite knowing what to expect from the show presented by Ant and Dec, the trials were even harder than when she first appeared on the program.
She almost quit before even getting on the plane, admitting that if it wasn't for her makeup artist, she may not have taken on the challenge.
She said: 'I got told I was going to a cocktail party so I had a full silk gown on and I turned the corner and you know what they're like, bless you, producers, they go to me "Gem, it's all good, you're going in, you're going to have a few drinks with everyone, it's like a welcome meeting" but honestly it was nothing like that.
'It’s so surreal. Nothing can prepare you for what comes next. It was so much tougher than before.
'I was absolutely bricking it, and I was petrified. My makeup artist had to slap me at Heathrow airport because I sat there and said "I don’t think I can go through with this." I was petrified but I took a deep breath and went in strong.'
But for Gemma, who expected the heights, bugs, trials, and camp conditions to be her biggest test, it was living without her beloved two dishwashers that proved the toughest challenge.
She said: 'The one thing that troubled me though was the copious amounts of washing up because I was on camp duty with Adam Thomas and it was a massive camp, I'm not going to lie, I have two dishwashers at home.
'It was all part of camp life; it really grounds you again going in there. It brings you back to simplicity; it breaks you in ways you have never been broken before. I left some trials broken with every inch of my life; I can't describe the pain I felt.'
Gemma returns to I'm A Celeb 14 years after quitting the show, saying: 'I just can't do it, it ain't for me. I love myself too much to put myself through this.'
In tears at the time, she added: 'I'm really sorry if I've let anyone down or if I've caused any aggravation, but I have to look after number one. I can't do it, I have to go. I have to start living my life the way I want to live it, and this is not it.'
But now, she says going back to the series has taught her she can overcome her fears, even alluding to performing well during the Bush Tucker trials.
She said: 'It was a thousand million per cent the best decision I have ever made.
'To be honest, I think I shut it down. I shut it down. It's not the GC in there; it's Gemma Collins as you have never seen her before. You'll see me vulnerable and thinking I'm Lara Croft.
'For me, I can't tell you too much, but when I told you I shut it down, I shut it down.
'I had no chance to back out of any of it. It helped my self-esteem one million per cent; do you know what it just made me realise that when you think you can't, you absolutely can.
'I came out and thought I no longer have this dark cloud hanging over my head. No one can say anything about me because I've done it. I got my redemption.'
Gemma attended Monday's I'm A Celeb: All Stars launch alongside fellow cast mates Ashley Roberts and Scarlett Moffatt.
Gemma joins the All Stars lineup alongside former winners Scarlett Moffatt and Harry Redknapp.
On Monday, presenters Ant and Dec revealed that, for the first time in All Stars history, the public will vote for the winner of the show.
Although the series has been prerecorded, viewers will now decide the ultimate winner and show 'legend' during a live final broadcast from the UK.
Dec said: 'Last time round it was all on tape but this time round we are doing a live final here. Last time round the public didn't get a chance to have a say but this time they do.
'The very end of the series will be live - ultimately the public will decide who will be named the I'm A Celebrity legend. It's happening here in the UK live on the TV.'
Ant added: We'll bring the whole cast back and have the finalists live in the studio and it'll be a live vote like we do in Australia and the public will decide their legend.'
Speaking about how challenging the show was for the cast, Dec added 'It is even harder. It's got to be because if you have won or been a part of the Australia show and you have done well and you want to be a legend in South Africa, you need to compete in the best trials
'The trials are physically bigger, and they are tougher than we have seen before because we have to really test them. Myleene Klass won it last time by doing the best head-to-head trial the show has ever seen, so we thought we wanted to leave it up to the public but to be a finalist, we have made it tougher than ever.'