Many parents may think that praising their kids is helping them mentally.
But a psychiatrist has now revealed how it can actually be having the opposite effect due to a common mistake that many moms and dads make.
Board-certified psychiatrist and acclaimed author Dr. Sue Varma appeared on the Today show this week to discuss some of the mental strength it takes to compete as a top athlete amidst the ongoing Winter Olympics.
And during her chat, she detailed some of the things parents can do early on to raise successful and confident adults.
She admitted that while pointing out children's accomplishments is vital, many adults across the globe often make a big error when they're praising their kids: complimenting 'fixed traits' like strength or appearance.
Instead, she explained that moms and dads should be focused on applauding the effort that kids put in to succeed.
'So much of the time we compliment our kids [by saying something like], "You're so strong, you're good looking,"' she explained.
'Those are fixed traits. We have to really reinforce the effort. [Think], "My kid just got 100 on a math test but he was struggling before that."
Board-certified psychiatrist Dr. Sue Varma appeared on the Today show this week to discuss some of the mental strength it takes to compete as a top athlete amidst the winter Olympics
'[Tell your kid], "Do you know how many hours you put in to get that? I love that." Praise the effort because that is something that we have control over.'
She said parents should commend kids for achieving anything that 'came with growth' rather than things that did not take much work.
She added that it is vital to teach youngsters that 'success isn't just about your raw abilities' but rather, it is about 'your confidence in those abilities.'
In addition, she reminded moms and dads to 'celebrate' children's wins as it helps them 'see the connection between their effort and performance.'
And according to the expert, the same mindset can apply to adults and not just kids.
'So many of us dismiss [ourselves] and say, "I'm just not good at math or science,"' she explained.
'That's not true, you can be good at anything it just takes X amount of hours... The person you become in the wins, in the losses, makes you ready for all aspects of life.'
Dr. Varma noted that most Olympic athletes have one trait in common: conscientiousness.
She said parents should commend kids for achieving anything that 'came with growth' rather than things that did not take much work.
Instead, she explained that moms and dads should be focused on applauding the effort they put in to succeed.
'That, to me, is basically discipline and emotional stability when things get tough,' she said. 'It's showing up when life is inconvenient, and it's about not waiting for motivation to act.
'They also stay calm. They can manage their emotions. They don't let their emotions manage them.'
It comes months after a psychologist revealed the five common things parents do that accidentally spark kids' bad behavior.
Dr. Jazmine McCoy, from Sacramento, California, known online as The Mom Psychologist, explained in a viral Instagram post that there are a lot of little things that moms and dads do or say that actually trigger bad behavior in kids, and they might not even realize they're doing it.
'We're all guilty of making these mistakes as parents (including me),' she wrote.
'When I make these mistakes it's because I'm feeling overwhelmed, stressed and doing my best to power through the moment.
'I think I'm helping, but I'm often just prolonging the difficult situation. I've found simply noticing this pattern helps me slow down and choose more intentional responses.'
Some of the things on her list included rushing a child through a transition, asking questions when they're dysregulated, giving them choices when they're already overwhelmed, and trying to teach a lesson when they're still escalated.
She also advised against telling a child to 'calm down' or 'relax,' explaining: 'This only increases shame, disconnection and escalation.'