The Tourette's campaigner who yelled the N-word at two black actors during the BAFTAs ceremony has admitted he felt a 'wave of shame' over the outburst and revealed he also called Alan Cumming a 'paedophile'.
John Davidson, 54, shouted the racial slur at Sinners stars Michael B. Jordan and Delroy Lindo during Sunday's ceremony at the Royal Festival Hall in London.
Davidson, whose life story inspired the film I Swear, has faced backlash, including from Oscar winner Jamie Foxx, who branded his comment 'unacceptable'.
Neither of the actors reacted on stage but BAFTAs host Cumming later said 'we apologise if it has caused offence' and Davidson made the decision to leave the ceremony halfway through after several incendiary outbursts.
The Scottish activist issued a swift apology, claiming he was 'deeply mortified' by his outburst.
He has now spoken of his 'unbearable guilt and shame' at the incident as he described how the word 'burst out of me like a gunshot'.
He said he shouted 10 different offensive words on the night of the awards, not just the N-word, even calling Cummings a 'paedophile'.
Davidson told Variety: 'On Sunday, Alan Cumming joked about his own sexuality and, when referencing Paddington Bear, said, "Maybe you would like to come home with me, Paddington. It wouldn't be the first time I have taken a hairy Peruvian bear home with me."
'This resulted in homophobic tics from me and led to a shout of "paedophile" that was likely triggered because Paddington Bear is a children's character.'
One of Davidson's biggest symptoms is coprolalia which makes him involuntarily say socially inappropriate words or phrases, including when he famously shouted 'f* the Queen' at Elizabeth II when he was awarded his MBE in 2019.
Davidson, who has suffered from a severe form of Tourette's since the age of 12, revealed he once punched his adoptive mother in the face when she was driving at speed, 'almost causing a had on collision'.
He was also 'physically beaten to within an inch of my life with an iron bar' by a man after ticking a comment to his girlfriend.
And when his car was being searched by police on entry to the Palace of Holyroodhouse in Edinburgh in 2019, Davidson involuntarily yelled: 'A bomb! I've got a f*ing bomb!'
He added: 'When socially unacceptable words come out, the guilt and shame on the part of the person with the condition is often unbearable and causes enormous distress. I can't begin to explain how upset and distraught I have been as the impact from Sunday sinks in.'
Davidson has reached out to the studio producing Sinners to apologize to Jordan, Lindo and production designer Hannah Beachler, who said a racial slur was aimed at her as she made her way to dinner after the show.
He also hit out at the BBC for failing to blur out the comment, claiming he had 'an expectation' they would control the sound at the awards.
The corporation aired the N-word to millions despite the ceremony being pre-recorded two hours earlier.
In contrast, they edited out 'Free Palestine' from an acceptance speech made by filmmaker Akinola Davies Jr after My Father's Shadow won the BAFTA for outstanding British debut.
In the days before the BAFTAs, it emerged that the BBC was going to be monitoring politically charged speeches after it was embroiled in a scandal last year when it streamed Bob Vylan chanting 'death to the IDF' at Glastonbury.
Following Sunday's ceremony, Lindo hit out at BAFTA for failing to address the incident with him following the ceremony.
He said he and Jordan 'did what we had to do' while presenting, but he wished 'someone from BAFTA spoke to us afterward'.
In a statement on Monday, Davidson said: 'I wanted to thank BAFTA and everyone involved in the awards last night for their support and understanding and inviting me to attend the broadcast.
'I appreciated the announcement to the auditorium in advance of the recording, warning everyone that my tics are involuntary and are not a reflection of my personal beliefs.
'I was heartened by the round of applause that followed this announcement and felt welcomed and understood in an environment that would normally be impossible for me.'
'In addition to the announcement by Alan Cumming, the BBC and BAFTA, I can only add that I am, and always have been deeply mortified if anyone considers my involuntary tics to be intentional or to carry any meaning.'
'I was in attendance to celebrate the film of my life, I Swear, which more than any film or TV documentary, explains the origins, condition, traits and manifestations of Tourette Syndrome.'
'I have spent my life trying to support and empower the Tourette's community and to teach empathy, kindness and understanding from others and I will continue to do so.'
'I chose to leave the auditorium early into the ceremony as I was aware of the distress my tics were causing.'
On Monday, BAFTA issued an 'unreserved apology' for the 'very offensive language that carries incomparable trauma and pain for so many'.
In a statement, they said: 'We want to acknowledge the harm this has caused, address what happened and apologise to all.
'One of our guests, John Davidson MBE, has Tourette syndrome and has devoted his life to educating and campaigning for better understanding of this condition.
'Tourette syndrome causes involuntary verbal tics, that the individual has no control over. Such tics are in no way a reflection of an individual's beliefs and are not intentional. John Davidson is an executive producer of the BAFTA nominated film, I Swear, which is based on his life experience.
'We take the duty of care to all our guests very seriously and start from a position of inclusion.
'We took measures to make those in attendance aware of the tics, announcing to the audience before the ceremony began, and throughout, that John was in the room and that they may hear strong language, involuntary noises or movements during the ceremony.
'Early in the ceremony a loud tic in the form of a profoundly offensive term was heard by many people in the room.
'Michael B. Jordan and Delroy Lindo were on stage at the time, and we apologise unreservedly to them, and to all those impacted. We would like to thank Michael and Delroy for their incredible dignity and professionalism.
'During the ceremony, John chose to leave the auditorium and watch the rest of the ceremony from a screen, and we would like to thank him for his dignity and consideration of others, on what should have been a night of celebration for him.
'We take full responsibility for putting our guests in a very difficult situation and we apologise to all.
'We will learn from this, and keep inclusion at the core of all we do, maintaining our belief in film and storytelling as a critical conduit for compassion and empathy.'