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It was when I felt a knot of dread in my stomach while planning a weekend away with friends that I knew I needed to do something about my acne.
Rather than worry about the usual group holiday issues - friendship dynamics and catering logistics, for instance - all I could think about was the huge spot on my chin. It was so big it slightly distorted my face.
I imagined with horror everyone flinching as their eyes flickered down while talking to me.
So I started to push at it, hoping it would pop... and, inevitably, made the situation worse. In the end, I spent every morning of that trip smearing endless concealer on to the crusty, red mix in an attempt to make it slightly less prominent.
I'd spent 20 years suffering with acne but my quest to sort out my skin began in earnest then, in my early 30s.
Every month from age 14, a huge, painful spot would erupt on my face, usually on my chin but sometimes on my cheeks, too, accompanied by a rash of smaller ones.
I understood they were primarily hormonal - I suffer from mild PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) which means I'm more prone to them - but that wasn't their only cause and, to be honest, I had some degree of acne on my face at all times.
First, I tried all the things friends (and the odd person offering unsolicited advice) anecdotally told me had helped with theirs, including cutting out dairy and adding astringent spot-busting lotions to my routine.
None worked and some made it worse.
My GP suggested the pill, but I wasn't keen on taking that step.
I spent years disgruntled, disheartened and disinclined to trust anyone to help me.
But then, in 2017, while I was a beauty director for InStyle UK, I met Pam Marshall, clinical aesthetician and co-founder of skincare brand Mortar & Milk.
'There's rarely a single cause of acne,' she told me while looking at my face. 'I usually equate it to a game of Jenga, where the final element makes everything topple, but there are other things going on to destabilise skin.
'In your case, hormones playing up may be the final straw, but you can do a lot with skincare and lifestyle to minimise their impact.'
Pam suggested a new routine designed to keep my skin calm, hydrated and free from acne flare-ups.
The steps are: clean skin with a creamy cleanser (Skinworks Treatment Cleanse Cream Cleanser, £34, skinwork.com), which I remove with a damp flannel; then a squirt of the antimicrobial and antibacterial spray, Clinisoothe Skin Purifier (£14.95 sephora.co.uk); a PHA serum to hydrate and gently exfoliate (Mortar & Milk PHA Barrier Repair Serum, £85 mortarandmilklondon.com), and a moisturiser. In the morning, I layer QMS Medicosmetics Collagen Recovery Day Cream with SPF (£170 lookfantastic.com) and Charlotte Tilbury's Invisible Flawless Poreless Primer (£40 cultbeauty.com) which makes my skin look great. At night, I cleanse twice.
I also make sure most of my diet includes fresh, minimally-processed foods, and I take daily omega 3 supplements (Wild Nutrition Food Grown Pure Strength Omega 3, £38 wildnutrition.com), plus probiotics from Symprove (£49.99 symprove.com).
Pam is militant about clean bedding. She encourages clients to wash sheets weekly, but I wash mine twice a week (plus pillowcases). It sounds extreme and yet another burden, but Pam warns that pollution and dirt attaches to our hair on a daily basis and makes its way on to our sheets and pillows - where it can then trigger or encourage acne breakouts.
The hardest adjustment to make? Not squeezing my spots. To stop me absentmindedly - or deliberately - doing it, I use spot patches (Hero Mighty Patch Original Spot Patches, £7.99 boots.com)
Within weeks of starting Pam's regime, my skin started to calm down. I still get the odd spot, (especially in December, when booze and rich foods reign supreme) - but I now know how to treat them quickly and effectively.
I remember Pam's golden rule, too: 'Be a detective. Look at the things you do every day and ask yourself if you touch your face while you're at your desk or don't clean your sheets enough - those things make a difference.'
Curing my acne breakouts isn't merely skin-deep; it has had a huge effect on the rest of my life. I'm more confident and less self-conscious when people look at me. And now I never give my skin a moment's thought before booking a trip with my friends.