Every January we make the same promises: drink less, exercise more, stop texting people who treat us like a convenience store. Snore. Been there, attempted that.
But this year, I'd like to propose something far more motivating. What if we made New Year's resolutions that guaranteed we'd be having the best sex of our lives in 2026?
Yes, more orgasms, I say!
Not the kind that involve tantric retreats, group shenanigans or pretending we suddenly enjoy swinging from the rafters when we absolutely do not. I'm talking about small, honest shifts that quietly change everything once the bedroom door closes.
Because 'good' relationships do not automatically equal good sex.
Which brings me to resolution number one: Stop having polite sex.
You know the kind. The 'this is fine' sex. The sex you agree to just because. The sex where you're present enough to participate but not enough to enjoy yourself. It keeps the peace but slowly extinguishes desire.
Polite sex breeds resentment. And resentment is not sexy.
'Good' relationships do not automatically equal good sex. Which brings me to resolution number one: Stop having polite sex
This year, I'd like to propose something far more motivating. What if we made New Year's resolutions that guaranteed we'd be having the best sex of our lives in 2026?
Which brings me to my second resolution: Say what you want. Out loud.
Not hints. Not hoping he'll magically intuit it because he once listened to a podcast. Actual sentences. Clear ones. Yes, it's awkward. Yes, your voice might wobble. But nothing has ever killed the mood more than lying there thinking, 'If he just did this slightly differently...'
Along the way, consider this mini resolution: Stop faking it.
You know the one. The Meg Ryan in 'When Harry Met Sally' diner scene. If you're not really enjoying it, don't pretend you are.
Pretending helps no one and just ensures the same mediocre routine repeats itself indefinitely. You can't start 2026 with the same boring sex routine with which you banged out 2025. Nope.
Another one: Stop prioritizing being 'good.'
Good girlfriend. Good wife. Good date. Good girl. The women having the best sex are rarely the ones trying to impress. They're a little selfish—a little greedy—comfortable asking for more.
Think more like Samantha from 'Sex and the City.' That woman knew what she wanted in the bedroom, told them and you know what? Guys found it hot.
Which ties neatly into this uncomfortable truth: Stop dating people you are not sexually curious about.
If you are not thinking about them when they're not in the room, the chemistry is not going to magically arrive six months in. Trust me, I've tried.
Compatibility matters, but believe it or not someone who you like for their personality can also be someone whose clothes you want to rip off. In fact, when it comes to dating, finding both those things in one person is a requirement.
Here's another resolution that doesn't get talked about enough: Get better at receiving—pleasure, compliments, touch, attention.
So many women are generous lovers but deeply uncomfortable being desired. Not me, I'm a Leo and we really adore attention, but a lot of women laugh compliments off. Letting someone want you requires vulnerability. That's why it's powerful.
Take the compliment and feel like the sex goddess you are. It's magnetic.
Mini resolution: Stop apologizing for initiating.
Women have been told that the man should always initiate sex. What nonsense. If your man is looking sexy, tell him, stroke his back, give him the ol’ wink and nod. Sure, society told us we need to sit in our feminine energy, but we can make the moves and still be feminine.
Do you think Marilyn Monroe wasn’t seductively making the first move? She did it with a flutter of her eyelids or a brief squeeze of the arm. Be more like Marilyn!
Now for a big one: Ditch sex that feels like a performance review.
If you're worrying about how you look - Are your boobs sitting okay? Can he see your cellulite? - or constantly asking yourself whether you're doing it right, you are not in your body, you are in your head. And no one has ever had mind-blowing sex while mentally narrating it.
I've asked plenty of men what they're thinking about whilst having sex and they all say they're just chuffed to be getting lucky. So, focus more on your pleasure than your look.
Which brings me to another subtle artform.
Flirt: even if you're in a long-term relationship.
Not scheduling sex. Not 'shall we?' Actual flirting: teasing, eye contact, saucy messages that make you grin at inappropriate times. Remind your partner that you still deeply desire them. It's so ridiculously hot.
And here's a brave one: Stop blaming your failing libido when it's your relationship that's the issue.
Oh lord, if I hear one more woman in her 40's attribute her low sex drive to her aging libido I'll scream.
There are so many nifty drugs, changes in diets, sleep techniques and hormone replacements that can get it fired up again. Chat to your doctor or health specialist and see what's on offer. You will be surprised to discover that there's a LOT. But be honest. Is it hormones? Or is it him?
Mini resolution: Choose someone who wants you back loudly.
Consistency is attractive. Enthusiasm is intoxicating. Ambivalence is not mysterious. It's exhausting - oh and bad for your cortisol levels.
Another controversial one: Stop pretending porn is the enemy.
Stick with me here. Used consciously, it can be inspiration or a conversation starter. Used secretly and compulsively, it becomes a wedge or shameful. Like most things, it's about honesty. Use it to see what each other is into. Get some tips and tricks.
Mini resolution to end on: Touch without a goal.
Who says sex has to be the finishing line? Give each other back rubs before bed. Hold hands. Touch just to touch. It’s wonderfully bonding.
And finally, the resolution that quietly underpins all great sex: Treat sex as something you explore, not something you master.
Bodies change. Desires evolve. What worked once may not work forever. The best lovers stay curious rather than clinging to old scripts so shake things up.
Because the best sex of your life isn't about technique. It's about courage. And 2026 feels like a very good year to be brave.