Late-night hosts talked Donald Trump's disdain for his own Time magazine cover and a new mandatory TSA checkpoint video starring Kristi Noem.
On Tuesday evening, Jimmy Kimmel relayed concerning news from the World Health Organization (WHO) that antibiotic-resistant "superbugs" are on the rise. Superbugs, Kimmel reminded, are "the world's most dangerous bacteria that also sounds like a show on Disney+."
"You know, sometimes we get so fixated on Trump we forget that there are other disgusting creatures hellbent on bringing about the end of the world out there," he joked.
On Monday, Trump had "what was easily the most presidential day of his life", Kimmel continued. "He was front and center on the world stage signing a ceasefire in the Middle East. And then he got home and started going through the internet and he just couldn't help himself."
Trump made the cover of Time magazine, "which he usually loves", said Kimmel, noting that Trump used to keep mock Time magazine covers of himself on the walls of his golf club.
But the choice of photo - and upward shot foregrounding the loose skin under his neck - upset the president so much that he posted on Truth Social at 1.30am, calling the photo "the worst of all time". Trump also claimed the magazine "disappeared" his hair.
"Every morning is a game of 'who am I mad at today?'" Kimmel laughed. "Is it the Cracker Barrel logo? Is it windmills? Is it Bad Bunny? Is it the Nobel prize? Or is it the turkey vagina slapping around under his chin?
"I'm not sure if they're even allowed to show his neck on TV," he added. "Wouldn't it be funny if the FCC fined us for showing his neck on TV?"
Trump also said that he "never liked taking pictures from underneath angles, but this is a super bad picture, and deserves to be called out. What are they doing, and why?"
"It's like he's a TikTok influencer yelling at her boyfriend for not knowing her angles," Kimmel quipped. "It really is remarkable what a big, fragile baby this man is."
And on The Late Show, Stephen Colbert referred to Trump's neck-fold-forward Time magazine cover as "the worst Georgia O'Keeffe ever".
"It's like one of those optical illusions where you can't tell if it's an old woman or a young ball sack," he quipped.
"Of course, the president of the United States is far too busy hammering out the details of a deal to end a generational conflict in the Middle East to worry about how he looks on some biweekly magazine ... you would think." Of course, Trump took time to call the cover photo "the worst of all time" in a Truth Social post.
"You want a flattering photo for the cover of Time? How about this one," Colbert said over a photo of a younger Trump with his friend Jeffrey Epstein.
Colbert also touched on the chaos at US airports, as the government shutdown continues to cause big delays. And this week, the Department of Homeland Security introduced a new mandatory TSA checkpoint video starring Kristi Noem.
"She's making something bad you can't get out of so much worse," said Colbert. "It's like when you're in the middle of getting your teeth cleaned and the dentist punches you in the balls."
"Now, most folks are blaming this shutdown chaos on the GOP for the unfair reason that they control the entire federal government," he continued. "But Kristi Noem’s video names a different culprit - and you’ll never guess who it is, unless you guess the Democrats."
In the video, Noem claims that "Democrats in Congress refuse to fund the federal government" and that "our hope is that Democrats will soon recognize the importance of opening the government".
"Nice try, Kristi, but your partisan attacks will never divide the people at the airport," Colbert responded. "We are proudly united ... in wondering why the rules seem to be different for every line you're going through."