"Oh, no, not my two favorite people fighting!" said the "Daily Show" host Michael Kosta. "Don't make me choose who I love more."
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night's highlights that lets you sleep -- and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Big, Beautiful and Disgusting
On Tuesday, Elon Musk expressed his displeasure on X over President Trump's "big, beautiful" domestic policy bill, calling it a "disgusting abomination" and shaming House members who'd voted for it.
On "The Daily Show," Michael Kosta said it was sad that "two men who previously had never had a friend" were seeing their relationship get "D.O.G.E.'d."
"Oh, no, not my two favorite people fighting! Don't make me choose who I love more." -- MICHAEL KOSTA
"I'm not sure who to root for. It's like Diddy versus R. Kelly." -- JIMMY KIMMEL
"But, yes, Elon is worried that Trump's bill will raise the deficit too high. And when Elon is worried about something getting too high, you know it's too high." -- MICHAEL KOSTA
"Boy, when he's off the ketamine, he is a lot less fun." -- JIMMY KIMMEL
"And he may be right, but Elon has to be careful. You come out that hard against Trump's central legislative achievement, and you're going to be the first white person to get deported." -- MICHAEL KOSTA
"Shame on those who voted for it? Who bankrolled these people that voted for it? I want the name of whoever bankrolled -- oh, wait, it's his name." -- JIMMY KIMMEL
"Just days after leaving his official role at the White House, Elon Musk is now blasting President Trump's 'big, beautiful bill' as a 'disgusting abomination.' And that's coming from the guy who made the Cybertruck." -- JIMMY FALLON
"Yep, Elon called it 'massive,' 'outrageous' and 'pork-filled.' And Trump was, like, '[imitating Trump] I don't know what you're talking about, but I'll take two.'" -- JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (New Portrait, Who Dis? Edition)
"Before we begin, I want to warn any of our more sensitive viewers -- children, pregnant or breastfeeding mothers -- that I am about to show you a picture of Donald Trump's face." -- STEPHEN COLBERT
"Yesterday the White House dropped the president's new official portrait. Now, you might remember he already had an official portrait, which I believe was released on his inauguration, and that photo can only be described as 'body in the morgue that just stood up.'" -- STEPHEN COLBERT
"The new portrait is notable because it doesn't feature the American flag, which has appeared in every official presidential photograph since Gerald Ford's in 1974. They had to remove it from the new portrait ever since the flag filed that restraining order." -- STEPHEN COLBERT
"It's called 'Sneering in the Dark.' Isn't that fun? This is the last thing a McNugget sees before it dies." -- JIMMY KIMMEL
"The new picture will replace the official photographs of Trump that have already been hung in federal buildings and offices. The old pictures will not be thrown away. They will be used from now on to scare horses." -- STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
In a new "Amber Says What" segment on "Late Night," Amber Ruffin addressed the "Gingers Are Black" trend on TikTok.
What We're Excited About on Wednesday Night
Miley Cyrus will promote her new album, "Something Beautiful," on "The Tonight Show."
Also, Check This Out
Standout films at this year's Tribeca Festival include a documentary about a cherished New York bistro and a South Korean feature about seniors who "dine and dash."