"There are hundreds of troops on the street and somehow they let a 34-time convicted felon just waltz into a restaurant," Jimmy Kimmel said.
Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night's highlights that lets you sleep -- and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Trump's Night at Joe's
President Trump had a rare night out at a Washington restaurant on Tuesday, rounding up what Jimmy Kimmel called "the closest thing he has to friends" for "a field trip to Joe's Seafood."
During the outing with Marco Rubio, Pete Hegseth, JD Vance and others, Trump told reporters how much safer he felt dining at a restaurant in D.C. after having sent the National Guard into the city. Protesters interrupted his meal.
The World of Late-Night TV
- The Rise of Taylor Tomlinson: The young stand-up comedian has rapidly emerged as one of the most in-demand superstars in comedy. Her latest gig, "After Midnight," is an unconventional late-night show.
- Jon Stewart Has Skills: The comedian has always had a sharp Borscht Belt approach, but only in his return to "The Daily Show" can we see how he wields this style so expertly.
- Trevor Noah's Legacy: In 2015, the South African comedian took on the mantle of "Daily Show" host from Stewart. In the seven years that followed, he was responsible for widening late night's field of vision.
- A Passion for Late-Night TV: Trish Bendix, who writes our Best of Late Night column, reflected on years of watching and covering talk shows that air after dark.
On Wednesday, Kimmel called it "a big night for Trump."
"This is the first meal he's had in, like, five years that didn't have the words 'extra value' in front of it." -- JIMMY KIMMEL
"President Trump dined yesterday with several members of his cabinet at Joe's Seafood, Prime Steak and Stone Crab in Washington, D.C., while RFK Jr. just ate something they hit on the drive over." -- SETH MEYERS
"Trump claims his 30-day fascist makeover reduced crime by 100 percent, and to prove that, he went out to dinner. So, Washingtonians, good news: Your city is free. Bad news: You have to watch Donald Trump eat." -- STEPHEN COLBERT
"There are hundreds of troops on the street, and somehow they let a 34-time convicted felon just waltz into a restaurant, no questions asked at all." -- JIMMY KIMMEL
"Hey, nothing says 'I feel safe' like driving one block from the White House surrounded by a fleet of armored cars and countless Secret Service agents." -- MICHAEL KOSTA
"These poor National Guardsmen and women, a lot of them -- you know, they have to leave their families and jobs to stand on the corner now watching Ubers pass by, which is not what they signed up for. They're supposed to be called for emergencies and for disasters and wars, and that sort of ... instead they're clearing a path for President Crab Cakes to pig out with his buddies." -- JIMMY KIMMEL
"I mean, Washington was a dangerous place. I remember a time not so long ago when an angry mob stormed the Capitol. It was absolutely nuts." -- JIMMY KIMMEL
A Somber Message
The assassination of Charlie Kirk, the right-wing activist and Trump ally, seems to have happened too late for most of the shows to address it. Stephen Colbert said the news broke after Wednesday's "Late Show" scripts were already finished. But he taped a short, solemn statement about it that opened the show, offering condolences to Kirk's loved ones and urging Americans not to be tempted by political violence.
"I'm old enough to personally remember the political violence of the 1960s, and I hope it is obvious to everyone in America that political violence does not solve any of our political differences," he said from his desk.
"Political violence only leads to more political violence, and I pray with all my heart that this is the aberrant action of a madman and not a sign of things to come." -- STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
The Savannah Bananas baseball team surprised Jimmy Fallon with a special performance on Wednesday's "Tonight Show."
What We're Excited About on Thursday Night
Rainn Wilson will discuss his role in the new film "Code 3" on "The Daily Show."
Also, Check This Out
The Berlin-based artist Vaginal Davis is bringing her first major museum solo show, "Magnificent Product," to MoMA PS1 this fall.