It's the stuff of nightmares. Fully conscious, aware of everything and everyone yet unable to move, communicate, or even breathe unassisted. Some call it 'locked in syndrome.'
Mallory Wilkerson refers to it as a 'waking coma', and it was her horrifying reality for three agonizing months back in the fall of 2024.
That was when, within the space of 24 hours, she went from being a seemingly fit and healthy mother-of-one to a bed-bound patient, hooked up to a ventilator and trapped in her own body.
August 29, 2024 is not a date Wilkerson will ever forget. That was the day that everything changed, and it began with the smallest of sensations - a strange tingling in her hands and feet.
She was lying in bed, mentally preparing for the day ahead, when she noticed the feeling along with the realization that her wrist felt numb.
She assumed she'd been lying awkwardly on it during the night and went about her routine, making breakfast for her then five-year-old son, Beckham.
Washing her hands in the kitchen sink, she thought something was wrong with the water because it stayed at room temperature despite her turning the hot tap all the way.
'Then I started to have severe muscle ache, like I'd worked too hard at the gym the previous day,' she told the Daily Mail. 'It was incredibly painful to get up from the sofa.'
She spent much of the day drifting in and out of sleep but still showed up to her overnight shift as a certified nursing assistant at a facility for seniors.
The scheduler took one look at her face and told her to go the ER. She drove herself to the hospital where she described her symptoms to the triage team before seeing a doctor several hours later.
She was categorized as low priority because she wasn't doubled up in pain. And, when the physician examined her, he said she likely had COVID or flu.
'He told me to go home and take some Ibuprofen,' Wilkerson said. However, she said her nursing training made her assert herself and say she feared it was more serious than he initially thought.
She repeated her story about not being able to distinguish the temperature of the tap water earlier and, when he brought in a bucket of ice, showed how she couldn't even tell whether it was freezing cold.
The experiment triggered a visit from a neurologist who ordered a series of tests. She was given bloodwork and a CT scan which didn't immediately reveal anything wrong.
Still, she was given her own room at 5am and monitored because her symptoms hadn't improved and she was feeling dizzy and unstable on her feet. Her mother, Dawn, who was looking after Beckham, had wanted to visit her during the night but Wilkerson, of Carrolton, Kentucky, discouraged her because she didn’t want to make a fuss.
'I told her to tell Beckham that I wasn't feeling very good, but I'd be back with him soon,' she said. 'I didn't want him to feel panicked or worried.'
Then around lunchtime, she experienced the scariest symptoms of all. A friend brought a homemade meal to her bedside. The 26-year-old started to choke as soon as she tried to swallow a small bite.
The same thing happened when she attempted to eat a pudding that was almost all liquid. 'It felt like my throat was closing up,' she said. By now, she had lost the ability to move her limbs and was breathless. Although they were somewhat baffled, the doctors suspected it was something serious and ordered the first of what turned out to be a series of spinal taps.
In the interim, as they waited for the results, they became concerned about Wilkerson's lack of nutrition because she couldn't eat anything. Around three days after she was admitted, she was fitted with a nasal gastric tube which was later attached to a port in her stomach.
A few days later, worse was to come when the doctors were so concerned about her on-going breathlessness, they put her on a ventilator.
It was the beginning of a traumatic three-month period where she was paralyzed and unable to breathe on her own or speak - a state which, today, she describes as a type of 'waking coma.'
'I could hear everything people said and was 100 percent alert and aware of my surroundings, but I felt trapped in my body,' she said. 'Try as I might, I couldn't even make facial expressions.'
The move to the ventilator happened shortly before the results from the spinal tap finally came in. There was a diagnosis at last.
Wilkerson and her family were told she had Guillian-Barré Syndrome or GBS. The rare autoimmune disease in which the body's immune system attacks the peripheral nervous system, rendering muscle weakness and, in severe case like Wilkerson's, resulting in complete paralysis.
Nobody knows the exact cause of GBS, but it is believed to be triggered by some form of bacterial or viral infection.
'I'd never heard of it,' she said. 'I had so many questions but couldn't speak so I couldn't ask.'
'The doctors were careful not to say it in front to me,' she continued,' but they told my family that it was the worst case they'd ever seen. They said that I was likely to never walk again and need to use a wheelchair.'
Wilkerson's muscles and nerves were severely damaged, causing immense pain. She was administered morphine, but, unable to speak because of the tracheostomy needed for the ventilator, struggled to tell staff when she needed more relief.
She also found it hard when visitors would cry when they'd see her lying helplessly in her hospital room. 'I'd feel bad for them, but I couldn’t say any words of comfort.'
Her frustration was somewhat relieved when her parents devised a system where they’d recite the letters of the alphabet nearby.
Wilkerson would spell out phrases by nodding her head -- mercifully she retained that capacity -- when they reached the right letter. They’d write the letter on a whiteboard and spell out different phrases.
It was a painfully slow process but helped her communicate some of her needs and feelings. Although he was initially frightened by all the tubes and wires, Beckham -- who was cared for mostly by his grandparents and other close relatives -- visited almost every day.
He’d bring story books, snuggle up to his mother on the bed, show her the pictures and pretend to read. ‘It was a great way for him to learn his letters before kindergarten,’ Wilkerson laughed, adding that it gave her joy to receive his hugs, even though she couldn’t reciprocate.
She also benefited from listening to music, specifically Christian songs. Then she developed a taste for Coldplay because the band was a favorite of one of her night nurses.
After first receiving care in Louisville, Kentucky, she was flown to Atlanta, Georgia, in October where her treatment included a string of blood transfusions.
To the delight of her family and the medical staff, her body gradually responded. It started with a little movement in her upper body in November which spread to her legs and feet the following month.
Wilkerson's breathing improved and she began to do 'breathing trials' which involved being taken off the ventilator for a short period to learn how to manage without it. The process caused a lot of anxiety, but her persistence paid off.
Towards the end of November she was taken off the ventilator permanently and, after three tortuous months, she was finally able to speak.
Her first words -- directed towards Beckham -- were 'I love you.' It meant the world to the little boy as he reacted to the familiar, reassuring sound of his mother's voice
'It felt wonderful to finally reconnect with him and everybody else after feeling like a spectator on life,' Wilkerson said.
She said that she had been craving Coke the entire time and having a glass of the soda finally pressed to her lips felt like heaven. 'Honestly, it was mainly the little things that made the difference.'
Her recovery, which she is chronicling on TikTok, continued with countless physical therapy sessions as an in-patient and, as her mobility improved, an out-patient. She defied expectations by freely moving her legs on the exercise equipment before taking a few tentative steps.
Now, after being fully discharged from hospital in February, she can walk and move her joints relatively well, albeit without much feeling in her feet.
Although she's able to care for Beckham again full-time, she can't run after him or get down on the floor to play. Nor can she return to work. She said, 'Beckham will ask me things like, "When are you not going to be sick anymore?"'
She still has vestiges of facial paralysis and can't fully smile or close her mouth the whole way. 'I'm hoping this will all improve over time," she told the Daily Mail.
As traumatic as it was, she said the best thing to come out of her 'waking coma' was a new appreciation for physical and verbal contact with others. 'I'm not sitting on the sidelines anymore,' she added.