My baby was taken from me when I gave birth aged 16 - it was appalling

My baby was taken from me when I gave birth aged 16 - it was appalling
Source: Daily Mail Online

A woman who had her baby taken away after giving birth aged just 16 opened up about the heartbreaking impact decades later.

Diana Defries appeared on Friday's (March 27) BBC Breakfast, speaking to Naga Munchetty and Ben Thompson.

Ahead of the conversation, Ben explained how the Education Committee declared the former practice of forced adoptions had inflicted unimaginable suffering on women.

Furthermore, Diana, now serving as Chair of the Movement for an Adoption Apology, said that hearing this was 'really powerful'.

Naga mentioned during the interview how Diana had been 'forced to give up' her daughter.

She responded: 'My baby was taken from me. I dislike the term give up.'

Diana spoke to presenters Ben Thompson and Naga Munchetty in Friday's episode of the programme.

'I think a lot of people are used to that because it's used in common parlance, but it's more honest to say most of these babies were taken from young mothers, including myself.'

At the time, as she explained, Diana had been young, unmarried, deserted by the baby's father - and had no support.

Continuing, Diana told that she was sent away to a mother and baby home where she gave birth in an NHS hospital.

She added: 'All of that was sullied by the way I was treated; the attitude of the staff at the home and the staff in the hospital was appalling, and I know this happened to many, many young women.
'We were treated as if we were pariahs; we were somehow lesser people and therefore deserved a sort of punishment; it varied through the decades but was consistent in tone.'

Naga made an observation that in such cases, there had been a public perception of a 'young woman being shrouded in shame' and asked how Diana navigated this.

She said: 'I coped by dissociating. In addition to the shame, there is a secrecy because most of us were told, 'You can't talk about this because it's shameful, so you mustn't tell anyone'

'You have the shame; you have the trauma; you have the need to keep it to yourself so there's no way to process what has happened.

'I think the best way to describe it is corrosive; it damages one in a very fundamental way.

The further you go into life and you realise that other people are just having children and living normal lives; the more you realise this is a terrible thing that you're carrying.'

Diana explained: 'It's very painful when you start talking about it initially because of the shame and this feeling of being somehow at fault and damaged.'

Last week, a heartbroken mum fought back tears as she opened up about the loss of her son after he fell ill with meningitis B earlier this year.

The current outbreak of the infection in Kent, which was identified between 13 and 16 March, has caused huge concern for many around the country.

Deniz Mills appeared on BBC Breakfast to raise awareness about the illness after her son Aaron, 18, died in January after contracting the infection.

An emotional Deniz, who helps fundraise for the Meningitis Now charity, said: 'It was just devastating. You don't expect to lose your healthy 18-year-old to a disease that they could be vaccinated against.

'It's turned our life upside down.'

Aaron, who was studying sports science and football at Liverpool John Moores University, woke up with a headache, which was followed by a seizure.

He was given antibiotics but was then rushed to Worcester hospital and they had to go to Coventry hospital to drain fluid from his brain.

Recalling what had happened, Deniz said: 'I thought Aaron was getting better; the antibiotics had kicked in; I later found out by the time Aaron had got to Worcester hospital; he had lost most of his basic brain functions.

'That’s how quickly it took hold. We were told by the surgeon; after the operation; they did everything that they could.

‘It was not lucky that Aaron was going to survive because his brain was too swollen.

‘That was within 12 hours of me speaking to Aaron in the living room that morning; Aaron was declared dead on Saturday 3rd of January.

‘There was no sign of life. He was brain dead.’

The reporter stated that to pay for a full course of vaccines to protect against the infection is around £220 - and Deniz said that she would have paid for it if she knew that it existed.

'If it would have saved my son's life, I would have paid it. If I'd have known about it, he would have had it,' Deniz said.
'If your child was born before 2015, they haven't had this vaccine, it is out there.
'I know it's a lot of money, but I recommend you going to do it.'

Breakfast airs daily on BBC One and iPlayer from 6am.