I'm convinced that my kid is a moron - and that I'm a horrible mother.
I know, it sounds harsh - and a terrible thing to say about one's own child - but my son's lack of motivation, and inability to complete even the simplest of tasks or academic work has me worried.
He barely graduated high school and now commutes to the local community college - but immediately plops on the couch upon returning home and plays video games all night.
I don't think I've ever seen him pick up a textbook in his life and he can't even point to certain countries on a globe. In fact, he generally lacks all common sense - and he's 19 years old.
I tried to get him tutoring while he growing up, and I even suggested trade school instead of a university so that he could avoid test-taking and homework.
He brushed off all of my help and said he was 'fine.' My friends said he would 'grow out of it.' So far, neither seem to be true.
I feel like I've failed as a parent - I've done all I can to raise a healthy child and yet nothing I do can fix his lack of smarts or laziness. It feels cruel to even admit, but I'm at my wits' end.
He's still living under my roof, and while I can't bear the thought of kicking him out, I fear I need to resort to extreme measures to get him to focus and excel. After all, he can't live here forever.
I'm torn about what to do, as it seems he is just naturally like this - but I am also deeply embarrassed whenever my friends ask after him, not to mention very concerned about his future.
Sincerely,
Simpleton Son
Dear Simpleton Son,
There is nothing more heartbreaking and disappointing than watching your children make mistakes, refuse to listen to your wisdom and knowing they are headed for failure.
Yet, failure is often the making of people, particularly young people who have been indulged or spoiled and have never had to make their own way.
Laziness is not a quality that will bring your son the things he wants in life, but the longer you continue to let him live rent-free and play video games all night, the lazier he is likely to become.
Kicking him out isn't the only option. But if you don't start requiring certain things from him, he will never change.
This may look like getting a job to pay you a small rent, or giving him a list of chores so he is contributing in some way.
If you do insist he leaves, he will have to get a job to pay for his own accommodation.
It's likely that he won't take you seriously at first, but failing may be the only way he learns.
As hard as this may be, the chance to fail may be the greatest gift you will ever give him.