Dear Jana,
During the pandemic, my wife and I became inseparable.
We were each other's whole world.
Fast-forward to now, and she's signed up for dance classes, she's going on weekend getaways with friends, and even taking a book club trip overseas.
I'm proud of her for reclaiming her independence, but sometimes I feel left behind.
It's like she doesn't want to be with me as much anymore.
How do I tell her I miss our 'us' time without sounding clingy?
Take Me Back to Lockdown.
DailyMail+ columnist Jana Hocking offers advice to a man who feels sidelined by his wife's busy social life and misses their cosy months in Covid lockdown
Dear Take Me Back to Lockdown,
Welcome to post-pandemic whiplash. It's a bit like the 'out-of-the-honeymoon-stage' shock couples feel after leaving the love bubble and settling into routine.
We all remember what lockdown was like, and how freedom felt afterwards: one minute you're sharing every snack and bowel movement update, the next you're distracted by other fun things that the world has to offer.
Your wife is right to be throwing herself headfirst into life. You should too!
But rest assured, what you're feeling is deeply human. It's not 'clingy'. It's the grief of moving from one phase of a relationship to another. It makes sense you miss her.
But here's the part you're missing: her independence doesn't mean you've lost your intimacy.
She's gone out into the world to breathe fresh air, to bring new stories back. That's not her leaving you - that's her making sure she has something to talk about over dinner besides, 'Hey, remember Tiger King?'
How often do we hear about couples whose kids fly the nest and they suddenly get divorced because they've nothing left to talk about?
So how about you take a leaf out of her book and start filling your life with adventures so you have some interesting chat to bring to the dinner table.
And yes, you can tell her you miss her. Just don't make it sound like you're asking for permission to chain her to the sofa. Say it with humour: 'I love that you're doing all this fun stuff, but sometimes I feel like a spare wheel. Can we pencil in some daft adventures for just us again?'
Maybe even suggest some ideas!
I think you should be thankful that your wife has a life outside of your marriage. Don't dim her shine - just jump on board.