Older, less attractive and...greener? A new trend from Gen Z's dating culture has entered the pop culture lexicon: Shrekking.
Shrekking, a nod to the grumpy green ogre who snagged a princess, refers to a dating trend where people intentionally choose a partner they believe is less good-looking than themselves, in the hope that they will be treated better.
It comes as Gen Zers have been dating up the age range, reportedly rejecting men their own age in favor of older men. A 2024 survey from Bumble found that 63 percent of users were comfortable dating outside of their age group, reflecting the rise of the so-called "gen-blend."
Newsweek spoke to experts to learn more about how Gen Z's attitudes toward dating are evolving, and what this means for the dating world.
The Shrekking trend has quickly gained traction online. In an Instagram reel shared by the Bad Friends podcast, hosts Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino discuss the trend, and Santino says that Lee is being Shrekked by women. As of press time, that video has been viewed over a million times.
But, according to the Gen Z dating coach Rae Weiss, this trend isn't exactly new.
"The funny thing about English is that it often develops new language and vocabulary for concepts that have preceded it for a while," she told Newsweek.
As an example, she pointed to the relationship between Charlotte York and Harry Goldenblatt in Sex and the City. Charlotte ultimately falls for and marries Harry, a man less conventionally attractive than she is, but who turns out to be her perfect match.
Although the concept itself may not be new, the fact that the trend has taken the internet by storm demonstrates a widespread resonance with the Shrekking concept.
"I think there's a resurgence in this practice, and a choice to name it, because of a growing and shared frustration of modern dating practices and norms like ghosting and ambiguous situationships," Weiss told Newsweek.
"A similar phenomenon is probably driving the growing popularity of age-gap relationships. We're starting to talk about it more in 2025, but women aren't just now dating older; because of the different timelines of cognitive and emotional development between genders, women have been dating older men for a while," Weiss added.
Gen Z hasn't had the easiest entry into dating and romantic life. A 2022 nationally representative U.S. survey of 2,000 adults from the Kinsey Institute and Lovehoney found that one in four Gen Z adults said that they had yet to have partnered sex.
A 2023 poll from the Survey Center on American Life found that 56 percent of Gen Z adults reported being in a romantic relationship during their teenage years, compared to 76 percent of Gen Xers and 78 percent of baby boomers.
Newsweek spoke to content creator Trevon Woodbury, who has over 200,000 followers on TikTok, about his experience with Shrekking, which he described as "awful."
"I remember I had this guy that I didn't find attractive in the slightest, constantly in my DMs, begging for a chance," Woodbury said. However, this person had led Woodbury to believe he'd treat him "amazing," and that in the end, he "finally caved."
But it was far from happily ever after.
"It was the worst decision," he said, adding that this person was "ugly on the outside and inside," and that he should "pick a struggle."
The hope with Shrekking is that the "ugly" partner worships the ground you walk on and doesn't hurt you. But the realities of dating rarely fit so neatly into a trend.
"Attractiveness has nothing to do with loyalty," content creator and matchmaker Alexis Germany Fox told Newsweek.
"What we're seeing is less a rebellion against 'trophy dating' and more an evolution of the old adage that women should be with men who love them more," she said.
"What people miss is that 'Shrekking' isn't really about suddenly finding unconventional partners more lovable. It's about self-preservation. Gen Z women, for all the talk about confidence and not caring what people think, are terrified of being perceived," Fox said.
"If they openly date someone their friends don't find attractive, they risk constant judgment. By framing it as 'I date the ugly guy because he'll treat me better,' they flip the script and now it looks like a cool, against-the-grain choice instead of insecurity," she added.
Whether it's Shrekking, age gap relationships, or another trend entirely, there is seemingly an endless roster of date-related buzzwords clogging up the Gen Z algorithm. But what do these trends reveal about Gen Z's dating values?
Dr. Jennie Rosier, an associate professor at James Madison University and host of the Love Matters podcast, told Newsweek: "Social media and dating-app culture have amplified appearance hierarchies, which can make highly attractive people feel both hyper-visible and hyper-vulnerable."
Rosier added: "Psychologically, it can also be a protective strategy: After repeated experiences of being pursued only for looks or experiencing rejection [and] abandonment, some women might prefer relationships where they expect more gratitude, predictability, or emotional safety."
Pointing to Gen Z's focus on mental health and boundaries, Rosier said that people are "experimenting with relationship strategies they hope will trade conventional desirability for stability or lower risk of hurt."
There could, however, be something simpler at play, according to Rosier, who said: "Women are becoming fed up with being treated poorly and they are simply trying new strategies to improve the quality of their relationships."
Fox meanwhile highlighted the gamification of dating and said that the practice of swiping and matching has "replaced intentional connection."
"If you don't consciously fight it, the apps teach you to see people as profiles, not humans. That explains why Gen Z feels both exhausted by dating and constantly in it," Fox said.
Newsweek's interview with content creator and matchmaker Alexis Germany Fox.
Q1: On Shrekking
What people miss is that "Shrekking" isn't really about suddenly finding unconventional partners more lovable. It's about self-preservation. Gen Z women, for all the talk about confidence and not caring what people think, are terrified of being perceived. If they openly date someone their friends don't find attractive, they risk constant judgment. By framing it as "I date the ugly guy because he'll treat me better," they flip the script and now it looks like a cool, against-the-grain choice instead of insecurity.
But let's be honest for a second; attractiveness has nothing to do with loyalty. And what we're seeing is less a rebellion against "trophy dating" and more an evolution of the adage that women should be with men who love them more. Except now it's been warped into "find a Shrek if you want to be the princess." That mindset can backfire by lowering expectations of what love should feel like just to avoid criticism.
Q2: On Age-Gap Dating
Nine times out of ten, age-gap dating creates more power imbalance than stability. I used to work with people who specifically sought these relationships, and I saw the patterns up close. Younger women go in thinking an older man will be more mature, more stable, more ready for commitment. The reality? Many older men seek out younger women because they can't hold their own with women their own age. They want partners who won't challenge them; women who lack the life experience to call out emotional immaturity and games.
Add financial disparity, and it gets even more toxic. The younger partner ends up relying on the older man for money which limits her ability to set boundaries or leave. That's not stability; that's control. Despite the narrative these relationships are rarely healthier; in fact they're often opposite.
Q3: On Gen Z's Dating Values
Gen Z thinks they're prioritizing emotional safety but in practice they're often opting out of conflict entirely. Older generations might not have handled things perfectly but they couldn't just disappear and call it "protecting your peace." Gen Z avoids friction by ghosting blocking or refusing to engage; that doesn't build resilience; it builds fragility.
Dating itself has also been gamified. For this generation swiping and matching has replaced intentional connection. If you don't consciously fight it the apps teach you to see people as profiles not humans. That explains why Gen Z feels both exhausted by dating and constantly in it.
Q4: On Biggest Misconceptions
The biggest myth is that Gen Z women choose these dynamics because they're empowered. "I'm taking control; I'm making the unconventional choice." The truth is harsher. Many are operating out of insecurity; inexperience; unresolved issues. They're mistaking avoidance; dependency for empowerment. And unfortunately those choices often lead them into dynamics that are more manipulative than mature.