Paul Reubens, best known for his iconic role as Pee-wee Herman, finally spoke out about the disturbing rumors that followed him for years -- in a private recording revealed after his death.
The message appears in Pee-wee's Himself, the posthumous HBO documentary that premiered Friday.
Reubens, who died of cancer in July 2023 at age 70, had spent decades dealing with speculation and public fallout after a string of legal troubles that brought his once-booming career to a halt.
In the film, he opens up about his 1991 arrest for indecent exposure at an adult theater in Sarasota, Florida, calling it a defining -- and deeply misunderstood -- moment.
'It really backfired when I got arrested,' he says. 'People had never seen a photo of me other than [as] Pee-wee Herman, and then all of a sudden I had a Charles Manson mug shot. It's shocking what hideous, horrible, mean stuff people say and think about me.'
Things got worse years later when police raided his home and seized his collection of vintage homoerotic art -- some of which was categorized as child pornography.
Reubens was never convicted, but the incident fueled damaging rumors that stuck with him.
Now, in what turned out to be his final recording -- made privately just one day before he passed -- Reubens finally addressed it all head-on.
'More than anything, the reason I wanted to make a documentary was to let people see who I really am and how painful and difficult it was to be labeled something that I wasn't... a pedophile,' he said.
'I wanted somehow for people to understand that my whole career, everything I did and wrote, was based in love.'
Reubens also comes out as a gay man in the documentary, offering a candid insight into his experience as a closeted man in Hollywood.
'I was secretive about my sexuality even to my friends [out of] self-hatred or self-preservation,' he shared in over 40 hours of interview. 'I was conflicted about sexuality. But fame was way more complicated.'
Reubens debuted his character Pee-wee Herman in 1981 at the famed improv theater The Groundlings, and as the character gained fame, he intentionally kept his personal life out of the spotlight.
In the film, he opens up about his 1991 arrest for indecent exposure at an adult theater in Sarasota, Florida , calling it a defining -- and deeply misunderstood -- moment
Once hailed as the charming and eccentric star of Pee-wee's Playhouse, Reubens found himself labeled a 'deviant' and 'pervert'
Reflecting on that time, he said, 'I was out of the closet, and then I went back in the closet. I wasn't pursuing the Paul Reubens career; I was pursuing the Pee-wee Herman career.'
Reubens admitted that he had 'many, many secret relationships,' but reiterated that his professional life always took priority over his love life.
Following his 1991 arrest, Reubens shifted away from his Pee-wee persona, taking on a range of supporting roles throughout the '90s.
He showed his versatility in Tim Burton's Batman Returns (1992), the cult classic Buffy the Vampire Slayer film, and a recurring stint on Murphy Brown.
In the 2000s, he popped up in films like Mystery Men (1999) and Blow (2001), where he shared the screen with Johnny Depp.
In his 60s, he brought the character back with a Broadway run of The Pee-wee Herman Show in 2010 and later a Netflix film in 2016.
His final on-screen moment came in a cameo for Hulu's Quiz Lady.