As another crazy year on planet earth draws to a close, it's time to reflect on some of the standout moments of 2025. And so, without further ado and in no particular order, we present SARAH VINE'S totally random and entirely subjective Awards of 2025...
The Michelle Mone, aka 'Baroness Bra', Award for Inflated Political Assets: Zack 'look into my eyes' Polanski, leader of the Greens, who once purported to be able to increase the size of a woman's breasts with mind control, now controlling the minds of would-be voters naïve enough to buy his extreme Leftist nonsense.
The Useful Idiots Award: Greta Thunberg, Bob Vylan and the broader globalise the intifada/Free Palestine brigade whose endorsement and encouragement of anti-Israeli feeling has arguably helped embolden various lunatic individuals to commit unspeakable atrocities against Jews in Britain and beyond.
Influenza of the Year: Trad wives. The trend for women wearing haute couture and fixed grins acting out a fantasy of 1950s womanhood has infected every corner of the internet, with tiresome results. Special mention to Nara Smith and Ballerina Farm (aka Hannah Neeleman) for being so exquisitely annoying. Life's too short to stuff a mushroom, as a wise woman once said.
The Bull in a China Shop: American Vice President JD Vance, for rounding on Volodymyr Zelensky in an entirely unprovoked attack at the White House, insulting British troops and generally demonstrating all the political subtlety of a gorilla on steroids. People tell me he's actually a very thoughtful fellow. His behaviour thus far would strongly indicate otherwise.
The Hell Hath No Fury Award: Singer/songwriter Lily Allen, whose 'revenge' album West End Girl in the wake of her divorce from Stranger Things star David Harper had every cheating husband deleting his Tinder profile. Although, in fairness, they were in an open marriage, so what did she expect?
Side-eye of the Year Award: Giorgia Meloni, Italy's Prime Minister, whose inability to conceal her frustration with the likes of her French counterpart Emmanuel Macron and German Chancellor Friedrich Merz has launched a million memes. If looks could kill, both would be pushing up daisies.
Hype of the Year: Adolescence. This hard-hitting TV series starring Stephen Graham was brilliantly acted and very thought-provoking, but should it have ended up dictating government policy?
Greta Thunberg was a joint winner of Sarah's Useful Idiots Award with Bob Vylan 'and the broader globalise the intifada/Free Palestine brigade'
The Absolutely Inexplicable, Seriously What is Wrong with People Award went to the popular Labubu collectible toys
Keir Starmer thought so, to the point where he did a deal with Netflix for it to be shown in all schools in Britain; opposition leader Kemi Badenoch disagreed, saying: 'policy should not be created on the back of fiction'.
Either way, not since the BBC's Cathy Come Home has TV drama provoked so much pearl-clutching in the corridors of power.
The Ungrateful Brat Cup: Brooklyn Beckham, for blocking his entire family on Instagram and generally behaving as though every aspect of his 'career' to date wasn't entirely down to his famous parents' sponsorship and support.
Creep of the Year: Andrew, obvs, formerly Prince, now simply Mountbatten-Windsor. For once, I'm glad the late Queen is no longer with us.
The Absolutely Inexplicable, Seriously What is Wrong with People Award: Labubus. Need I say more?
The Does My Majority Look Big in This Award: Nigel Farage, for being the political equivalent of that bloke you've always quite fancied but have never dared admit it because he's got a terrible reputation, and yet you just can't help wondering what it would be like if you went there. Probably not as good as you hoped.
Dunce of the Year: Rachel Reeves, of course, for orchestrating and delivering a terrible Budget and then blaming it all on the patriarchy. Decades of feminism, up in smoke. Not to mention billions of taxpayer's money.
The Do as I say Not as I Do Award: A close tie between Angela Rayner, the housing minister who failed to pay the correct stamp duty on her second home, and Tulip Siddiq, the anti-corruption Minister convicted of, er, corruption in her native Bangladesh.
The Lost In Translation Award: Those weird Japanese inspired strawberry and cream 'sando' sandwiches that Marks & Spencer did in the summer. Baffling.
Ditherer of the Year: Prime Minister Keir Starmer, for cancelling local elections and generally changing his mind about everything from inheritance tax for farmers to WASPI women to the welfare bill and, of course, women in general, who he used to believe could have penises but now, after the Supreme Court Ruling, he admits are 'adult females'. His inability to make a plan and stick to it is costing businesses millions.
The Stay in Your Lane Award: Kim Kardashian for making that terrible legal show that everyone hates. Good at wearing clothes that are too tight and flogging overpriced thongs; bad at TV.
Damp Squib of the Year: Season five of Stranger Things, which promised much but delivered very little. Suddenly it just all seemed a bit silly.
More Money than Sense Prize: Jeff Bezos, for sending Katy Perry into space. If only he'd left her there...
The Thank God she Finally Ditched Him Prize: If you're Gen Z, its Emma Chamberlain (who has 14 million followers on Instagram and more than 1 million subscribers on YouTube) and a musician called Peter who no one's ever heard of; if you're Gen X, it’s Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban - although no one was ever quite sure what she saw in him in the first place. Plus, let’s face it, he was too short for her.
Spare of the Year: Prince Harry, who having been a self-confessed 'spare' for the Royal Family now finds himself playing a similar role in The Duchess of Sussex's ongoing bid for world domination via the medium of jam, dried petal arrangements and pictures of the backs of her children's heads.
On this year's infamous 'Kiss-Cam couple', Sarah Vine writes: 'Can't two consenting adults have a slow dance at a pop concert these days without the whole world rounding on them?'
Cop-Out of the Year: Wes Streeting, aka Labour's great white hope, for not having the balls to halt this harmful and completely unnecessary puberty blocker trial on gender questioning children, despite admitting that minors cannot give their consent to take part.
Knockout of the Year: No, not Anthony Joshua (although his combination of good looks and muscle have made the 36-year-old from Watford a global heartthrob) but Sydney Sweeney, whose nonchalance in the face of manufactured hysteria around her ‘good genes’ American Eagle jeans advert has established her as more than just another ‘teeth and t*’ starlet.
Fallen idol: Philosopher Noam Chomsky pictured chatting to Jeffrey Epstein aboard the infamous 'Lolita Express'. Letters and documents indicate the pair had a long-standing friendship from around 2009 to around 2017, long after Epstein was registered as a sex offender. Liberals are weeping into their matchas.
With Dishonourable Mention for comedienne and one-time national treasure Dawn French for mocking the rape and murder of civilians by Hamas terrorists on October 7 as a ‘bad thing’, even if she later apologised.
Turnaround of the Year: Kemi Badenoch, who having made a slow start as leader of the Opposition and endured endless speculation about her future, finally showed what she is made of in her blistering response to Reeves’s budget - and in so doing won a legion of new fans impressed by her wit and vigour. Still a long way to go, but slow and steady wins the race...
The Dolly Parton 'It Takes a lot of Money to look This Cheap' Award: Mrs Jeff Bezos, aka Lauren Sanchez, who married her beau in a glitzy ceremony in Venice, set the tone for her sartorial year by attending the Trump inauguration in a white corset more suited to a date night in a casino than a solemn official ceremony. Since then, she has continued to delight style-watchers with a succession of eye-wateringly expensive outfits (including her Schiaparelli wedding dress) which somehow on her end up looking like something out of Victoria’s Secret sale bin.
Overreaction of the Year: That poor Kiss-Cam couple at the Coldplay concert. Honestly, can't two consenting adults have a slow dance at a pop concert these days without the whole world rounding on them?
Strangest Infatuation: Jacob Elordi, as the unsettlingly sexy Creature in Guillermo Del Toro's Frankenstein. Never has a random collection of body parts looked so alluring.
And finally, the Not Dead Yet Award, which goes jointly to Sir David Attenborough for being so wonderfully alive at the age of 99, and His Majesty the King, for KBO-ing despite it all.
Here's wishing everyone a peaceful and happy 2026.