If you can't resist a gloat about your child's reading age and impeccable sleeping routine, you might think you're sailing through the trials and tribulations of parenthood.
But, according to Laura Windsor, known as the 'Queen of Etiquette', you could risk becoming the person at the school gates nobody wants to be - the almost universally disliked 'annoying parent'.
It can be tempting to brag about your child's every minor success, talk about them with strangers and post them incessantly on social media - with their face obscured, obviously.
But by indulging their every whim, from iPad screentime to making as much noise as they like in public places, it's likely other parents will begin to harbour a grudge.
You may have even developed some classic parenting habits that seem to come with the territory, but is your child really 24 months, or are they a two-year-old?
And is it really appropriate for them to start eating snacks in supermarkets before going to the till, or dipping their fingers into shared food?
It's easy to become wrapped up in the parenting and family bubble, but if your child is making a racket in a public restaurant or screaming in a cinema, it's not just your own ears that'll be affected.
Read on to explore Laura's ultimate guide revealing the most irritating parents around - and how to avoid it yourself.
These are the 33 signs that you're the annoying person everyone hates, revealed by etiquette expert Laura Windsor.
The signs you're the annoying parent everyone hates...
- You refuse to tell your child 'no' and instead say things like 'gentle hands!' while they are battering other children
- ...or you tell them they should give as good as they get, teaching 'tit for tat' instead of self-control
- You let them run around public places, like pubs or restaurants, without keeping them in check
- Allowing them to watch iPads on full volume with no headphones while out and about
- ...and interpreting a 'day out with the kids' as sitting in a coffee shop with every member of the family on a tablet, computer or phone
- Letting them kick the chair in front while flying
- Telling other parents how well they sleep, and then reciting your exact routine
- You post incessant images of your child on social media... but then put an emoji over their face
- Any form of helicopter parenting
- Referring to your kid's age in months when they are older than one
- Opening packets of crisps/sweets for them to eat in a supermarket before they've been paid for
- Valuing your child's opinions in a conversation with adults
- ...or allowing them to interrupt conversations and not telling them to wait till you've finished
- Pregnant women who call their child 'baby' rather than 'THE baby'
- Not letting them eat what the other kids are eating at parties (genuine allergies aside)
- Dressing boys in knee socks and shorts with Cath Kidston jumpers. You are not the Princess of Wales
- Speaking very loudly (translation: performatively) to a child who is not old enough to understand or speak back
- ...or giving long, detailed instructions to your child in a loud voice about exactly how things are done, when they ARE old enough to understand
- Asking questions in the parents' WhatsApp group instead of reading emails from the school
- Doing your children's art projects or homework for them
- Giving your child a smartphone when they're still in primary school because 'they wanted one'
- Allowing your children to use the Tube as a playground - swinging from the bars and climbing the poles - or letting them have a seat each when public transport is crowded
- Putting shoes on public seats - or worse, at your friends' houses
- Allowing them an inappropriate amount of power in decision-making - it's not up to your child when they go home
- Constantly bragging about your child's successes... your peers won't care about their 'incredible' reading age
- Talking about inappropriate topics in front of your children... and having them repeat your political views or opinions in front of others
- ...Or swearing in front of them
- Taking them weddings as 'they're so well behaved' - even if it's adults only
- Still sending your child to sleepovers even when they’re ill
- Being a 'tiger mum' - over-scheduling your child's agenda to show how busy and successful they are
- Letting your kids get their ears pierced at a young age... now everyone in their class wants to copy them
- Letting your children dip their grubby hands into sharing bowls of snacks/dips and saying 'it's good for everyone's immune system'
- Being that bit too competitive about bake sales and sports days and shouting instructions at your child from the sidelines
Laura Windsor, dubbed the Queen of Etiquette, runs an Etiquette Academy at laurawindsoretiquette.com.