I am rarely one of those people who feels moved to share a photo of a celebrity in the immediate aftermath of their death. But hearing the news of actor James Van Der Beek's tragic demise really hit home.
At 48, he was the same age as me, but much more relevantly, as the eponymous star of the 1990s hit coming-of-age show Dawson's Creek, he felt like my first boyfriend. He probably felt like every forty-something woman's first boyfriend.
He leaves behind a young widow, Kimberly, and six young children, Olivia, 15; Joshua, 13; Annabel, 12; Emilia, nine; Gwendolyn, seven; and Jeremiah, four.
The Dawson of the TV show was a thoughtful, dependable leader of a tight, close-knit gang: Joey (Katie Holmes), Pacey (Joshua Jackson) and Jen (Michelle Williams). The show ran for six seasons between 1998 to 2003 and captured the last generation of teenagers to come of age before the digital revolution. It feels like an age of innocence now.
The Dawson's Creek lot were a bit like a younger version of the Friends gang. Aspirational, good-looking, endlessly supportive. A group of friends who rallied around their peers when needed. We all wanted to be one of them and live in the dreamy, fictional town of Cape Side, Massachusetts. We wanted to sit on the pier with them, share our day-to-day dramas with them in long precocious monologues, and then snog Pacey.
It was a flagship show for people of my generation because it put teenagers at the heart of it. Set against the backdrop of pastel-coloured clapboard houses and open skies, their intense friendships and high school loves were afforded a significance we rarely saw on TV and wanted desperately for our own.
Dawson was an introspective aspiring filmmaker who worked in a video store (remember those?). He and tomboy Joey had the kind of boy/girl relationship we all craved - a partnership of equals and best friends. Joey didn't have it easy - she had lost her mum to cancer and her dad was in prison for drug trafficking - but Dawson always had her back.
Then there was Dawson's other closest friend Pacey, the class clown - and so began a love triangle which kept us hooked for six seasons.
When rebellious, wealthy Jen moved to Cape Side from New York, the friendships shifted and fluctuated again - yet still we knew they were the most important thing in the world. Just as ours teen friendships were.
Other dramas swirled around the central gang - divorce (Dawson's mum and dad, Mitch and Gail), confusion about sexuality (Jack McPhee, played by Kerr Smith, one of very few openly gay teens on TV back then), drugs (Andie McPhee, Jack's sister, played by Meredith Monroe) and bereavement (Dawson's dad died in season five) - but still we knew that the core group would sit on that pier and chat about love, life and the universe.
For the first time, it felt, teenage concerns were treated with the same sincerity and seriousness as adult ones.
While all key members of the show went on to have successful acting careers, Van Der Beek’s faltered. Yes, he worked steadily, starring in a number of films including Varsity Blues, The Rules of Attraction and Labor Day. But he didn’t quite reach the fame of his co-stars, who all seemed to marry fellow A-listers and retain a regular spot on the red carpet (Holmes married Tom Cruise; Williams married the late actor Heath Ledger and Jackson married British actress and model Jodie Turner-Smith).
Sure, Van Der Beek married a successful film producer - Kimberly, whose credits include The Princess Bride and The Full Monty - but family seemed to pull him away from Hollywood’s orbit.
A host of celebrities including co-stars Holmes and Busy Phillips (who played Audrey Little, Joey’s roommate), have since paid tribute.
‘My heart is deeply hurting for all of us today... every person who knew James and loved him, anyone who loved his work or had the pleasure of meeting him, all of his dear friends and community that surrounded him as he battled this illness,’ wrote Phillips on Instagram.
Holmes meanwhile posted about the ‘adventures of a unique youth’.
‘James, Thank you. To share space with your imagination is sacred - breathing the same air in the land of make believe and trusting that each other’s hearts are safe in their expression... These are some of the memories, along with laughter, conversations about life, James Taylor songs - adventures of a unique youth...
‘I mourn this loss with a heart holding the reality of his absence and deep gratitude for his imprint on it,’ she wrote.
Actor Chad Michael Murray, who played flirtatious, two-timing Charlie Todd in season five, posted: ‘James was a giant. We’re so so so sorry for what you’re going through. His words, art and humanity inspired all of us - he inspired us to be better in all ways.’
But where, we have to wonder, were these close, wealthy friends when poor James was facing financial difficulties due to the exorbitant costs of his medical treatment and being unable to work?
Van Der Beek revealed in 2024 that he was being treated for colorectal cancer. He told People magazine that 'there's reason for optimism, and I'm feeling good', yet also described cancer as a 'full-time job' of appointments, insurance battles and 'hard conversations' with his children.
The relevant point here seems to be those insurance battles.
Within hours of his death on February 11th, James’s widow had launched a GoFundMe campaign, which has so far raised more than £900,000.
According to the fundraiser, Van Der Beek’s medical care costs ‘have left the family out of funds’. The money would help them ‘stay in their home’ and the children ‘continue their education and maintain stability during this incredibly difficult time’.
Van Der Beek revealed in 2024 that he was being treated for colorectal cancer.
In December 2025, he said he had been forced to sell off memorabilia from the set of Dawson's Creek, bringing in $47,000 (£34,000).
Last September, his co-stars did organise a star-studded cast reunion at Broadway's famed Richard Rodgers Theater to help raise funds for their friend. Michelle Williams, Katie Holmes and Joshua Jackson staged a read through of the show's pilot episode with all profits going towards Van Der Beek's treatment and the charity F Cancer.
A few years before, in 2022, James had tried to sue the US entertainment company Sirius XM, and its podcast-creating subsidiary Stitcher, after they reportedly reneged on a podcast deal allegedly worth $700,000 (£512,000).
In legal documents, he said he was seeking damages because he turned down other work to focus on the show's development.
But how could the star of mega-successful Dawson's Creek - where his co-stars were reportedly paid $35,000 (£25,000) per episode, increasing to $175,000 (£128,000) per episode by the final season - find himself in such a terrible economic situation?
According to reported figures, the other cast members of the show are worth between $8m (£5.8) and $30m (£22m) with Michelle Williams the wealthiest of them all. It's also been reported that Van Der Beek, who starred in 128 episodes over six seasons, had an estimated net worth of between $3-$4 million (£2-£3million), but of course no one knows the family finances except the family themselves.
What is certain is that he could not work during his two years of treatment, and all the while the medical bills mounted. The cost of bowel cancer treatment in the US can rise to roughly $100,000 (£73,000) per year. What's more the actor said there was a clause in his contract which meant he could not earn anything from re-runs of the show.
Van Der Beek leaves behind his wife and six children
‘There was no residual money,’ he told the US daytime TV news show Today in 2012. ‘I was 20. It was a bad contract. I saw almost nothing from that.’
In contrast, it's been widely reported that the main cast members of Friends make $20 million (£14.6m) a year from residuals and reruns.
James’s wife Kimberly said on the GoFundMe page that James had met his final days with ‘courage, faith and grace.’
‘There is much to share regarding his wishes, love for humanity and the sacredness of time. Those days will come. For now we ask for peaceful privacy as we grieve our loving husband, father, son, brother and friend,’ she wrote.
It’s difficult to imagine the grief she must be feeling.
All of us who grew up with Dawson’s Creek, who saw our lives in theirs, have lost a friend—but let’s not forget six children have lost a father.