A woman's decision not to hang a Christmas stocking for her partner's mother is causing some controversy.
The woman detailed her story on the popular Reddit forum "Am I the A------?," a place where Redditors can go to get input and advice about interpersonal dilemmas. In her post, the woman shared that she and her "BD" (baby daddy) are going to be "moving soon," and they will be spending their first Christmas together as a family with their new baby in a new home.
The original poster (OP) went on to say that she planned to design stockings for herself, her partner, their baby and their dog -- only to find out that her partner's mother, who will not be attending Christmas at their house, requested that she also get a stocking. Additionally, the OP said that her partner’s mother requested that her stocking be inscribed with the word “Mama.”
The OP said she “immediately had an issue” with the request, as the other woman “will not even be there for Christmas and... the holiday was meant to be a special moment for our [nuclear] family.” She also said she feels as though requesting a stocking that says “mama” instead of “grandma or granny” feels like a “blow at me in some way.”
She also shared that at her partner’s wishes, neither she nor their child has never met his mother.
“Keep in mind his mother has never met me or my child and not because of me but because BD doesn’t approve of her irrational behaviors and wants to keep her away from the baby,” she added.
She noted that her partner’s mother has been critical of their relationship in the past.
“She’s made comments about how I won’t treat my BD the right way because she didn’t tell me how to take care of her son. Yuck,” the OP wrote, adding that she and her partner have “a healthy relationship with plenty of communication.”
The OP said she has spoken to her partner about her feelings, and while he said he understands where she is coming from and agreed they would not hang a special stocking for his mother, she also suspects he is “a bit upset” by the situation.
“[Am I] being overly critical or emotional about this topic?” she asked at the end of her post.
“Definitely NTA [not the a------],” one person said. “No matter how kind or loving a grandmother is, she is not entitled to use the word ‘mama’ on a stocking in your house. You are the mama in your house. If she can’t accept her role as a grandmother, no need for a stocking.”
“NTA. If she was coming to spend the holiday at your place, sure, that would make sense. But she’s not ... so yes you are right to think it’s bizarre,” added someone else.
Someone else said, “Her requests are beyond bizarre, weird and inappropriate to the max. NTA.”