An 8-year-old boy's bedtime routine has become the center of a marriage dispute after his mother asked her husband to delay his nightly shower so their son could use the bathroom first.
Reddit user Anhen26 explained that her son goes to bed between 8 and 9 p.m. and needs to use the bathroom beforehand.
Her husband, who works from home and wakes up early, typically goes to sleep after 10 p.m. Despite that, she said he insists on showering between 8 and 9 p.m., clashing with their child's routine.
"Tonight he decided to take a shower at 8:15, I asked him to let our son first, it resulted in a huge fight with him yelling and slamming the shower door," the original poster (OP) wrote, asking whether she was wrong to prioritize her son's bedtime needs.
The disagreement appears to extend beyond bathroom timing. When one critic on the platform asked, "Why is your husband not helping with getting your son to bed," the post scored almost 800 upvotes in a day.
Anhen26 responded: "That's a good question. One of the arguments were that I had to make sure that our son is finished with the bathroom by 8:30, but like with most kids, I have to repeat several times and sometimes, it's a bit later.
"I told him to help me with getting our son to the bathroom and use it as much as he wants after."
In an article for eNotAlone, author Liz Fischer opined: "It's not just about 'having a bad day'; it's about a consistent pattern of behavior that's affecting the way you feel valued in your marriage."
Fischer flagged that when selfishness becomes routine, it can leave a partner feeling, "isolated, unsupported and even resentful over time," according to the outlet.
In a 2023 Newsweek report on women "quiet quitting" their marriages, licensed psychotherapist Christine Scott-Hudson told Newsweek: "When things in the marriage feel hopeless for a long time, such as when nothing a spouse says or does seems to have any effect on the state of the marriage, the nervous system might feel trapped and begin to go into a freeze response."
Laurel Wiers, a veteran therapist, told Newsweek that repeated complaints without change can alter how partners respond to one another.
"Sadly, what happens in the relationship is that the partner who has been told over and over again that he is failing to meet the woman's expectations thinks that it is an empty threat," Wiers said.
For Anhen26, the issue remains practical as well as emotional: who gets the bathroom first during a narrow window before bedtime.
Her proposal is straightforward: If her husband wants to shower at that time, she suggested he help get their son ready earlier and wait until the bathroom is free.
The online debate has left her questioning whether asking an adult to delay a shower for a child's bedtime routine crosses a line, or reflects basic parental priority.