A woman is contemplating skipping her best friend's wedding because it's taking place on her birthday.
The woman detailed her dilemma in a recent post on Reddit, explaining that her best friend is set to tie the knot next month. She said she was "excited at first," but then found out the date of the wedding -- her birthday.
"When I realized the date, I felt a little hurt because I thought she would at least ask me if it was okay," the OP (original poster) wrote. "I brought it up, and she said it was the only date that worked for the venue."
Despite this, the OP proceeded to tell the bride-to-be that she "might skip" the wedding because she wants to celebrate her own special day with family and other friends.
"She got upset and said I was being selfish," the OP recalled of the conversation.
The OP said the situation has left her feeling torn.
"I don't want to ruin our friendship, but I also feel like my birthday matters too," she concluded her post, asking fellow Redditors, "AITA [am I the a------] if I don't go?"
In the comments, readers were blunt in their assessment of the OP's stance, with some saying it would be "petty" and "selfish" of her to miss her best friend's big day.
"A wedding is a milestone. A lifetime event. A birthday is a celebration that happens every year," one person wrote. "If you're really her best friend and you actually cared for her, you'd be happy that a special day for her and for you both landed on the same day, and you'd be thrilled to spend that day seeing her enter the next chapter of her life."
They added: "Here, it just sounds like you expected her to move her big day because it was inconvenient for YOU. And you're then punishing her by not going."
Another commenter said: "Your birthday is ... checks notes ... every year. This is her wedding. If you're not going to your best friend's wedding because of this, then you're a crappy friend."
Taking the bride's side, someone else pointed out how scheduling and planning a wedding can be a complicated process -- and urged the OP to consider this.
"I doubt your friend sat down with her calendar and tried to find a way to make it on your birthday. Weddings are complicated events," they wrote. "Maybe their dream location is only available on your birthday. Or maybe their preferred caterer only has the availability that weekend."
Yet another commenter agreed, also noting that it would be near-impossible for a bride to pick a date that's perfectly suitable for each and every one of her guests.
"Expecting someone to schedule their wedding around guests' birthdays is insane. If you imagine a guest list of 100 or so people, you could well find that you're locking out a third of the year if that was considered essential. And then there are people's anniversaries they'd have to consider," they said.