In her new "part memoir, part cautionary tale" the mother to the world's first influencers details their rise to fame and what she's learned.
As Jake and Logan Paul's mother Pam puts it: "I've never personally said the words 'F--- the Pauls', but plenty of people have."
That's why she's titled her new book just that. In F* the Pauls: Written by Their Mother (out Jan. 27) Pam Stepnick chronicles her social media star sons' rise to fame in a book she calls a "part memoir, part cautionary tale."
"Before they were stepping into boxing rings, wrestling in the WWE and breaking the internet with viral stunts, Jake and Logan Paul were just two kids from Ohio with big dreams and a camcorder," an official synopsis explains.
The book chronicles "the story of what really happens when your kids become famous overnight, when the internet turns against you and when you have to hold on for dear life as your kids build empires, battle legends and redefine entertainment as we know it," according to an official synopsis.
"Our family's story is unique, but it carries lessons that are deeply universal. When my children became some of the world's first influencers, I was unexpectedly thrust into the role of the original 'mom of influencers,'" Stepnick explains in a statement shared with PEOPLE. "I felt a responsibility to share a mother's perspective -- the unseen challenges of sudden fame and how I worked to guide my family through everything that came with it."
Jake and Logan have spoken about their father's alleged abuse in the past, including on an episode of their podcast Paul American, in which they openly discussed the alleged physical abuse and trauma they experienced as kids.
"My dad... where do I begin?" Jake says in a teaser clip shared exclusively with PEOPLE. "The road is getting smoother and smoother, but it wasn't easy for so many years because [of] all of our traumas and all of our bold, stubborn personalities clashing together."
In August 2023, Jake made abuse claims against his father in Netflix's Untold series. "My dad would slap the s--- out of me," Jake said in the first installment of Untold: Jake Paul the Problem Child.
In the Netflix series, Greg addressed Jake's claims and said he "never laid a hand" on Jake or Logan. However, he did admit to taking a "tough-love approach" as a parent.
"I said, 'Jake I did pick you up and throw you on a couch a couple of times,'" Greg recalled in the episode, explaining, "That's what the f--- dads are supposed to do. Welcome to life, get the f--- over it."
Below, in an excerpt from a chapter titled 'Family Feuds', Stepnick details what happened when her marriage to the boys' father, Greg Pauls, fell apart.
Jake and Logan were five and seven years old when I realized our marriage was in deep shit. It was a Friday night, and Greg and I had plans to go to our friend's house with the kids. Before we were out the door, Greg noticed that one of the boys had peeled off some wallpaper border in our bathroom next to the toilet.
Neither confessed, which set Greg off. He grabbed both of the boys, who were screaming and crying, and locked them in the bathroom.
"I'm not letting you out until one of you confesses," he bellowed through the door.
I pleaded for him to stop. It's just wallpaper. They're kids. But I was afraid, too. Finally, Logan coerced Jake to admit to peeling the paper. Greg threw open the door and yanked Jake by the arm. He dragged him over to the couch and spanked him.
"Stop! Stop it!" I cried as he pushed me away.
Then he hauled Jake up the stairs and locked him in a bedroom. As I rushed up the stairs to comfort Jake, Greg blocked the bottom of the stairs like a human barricade.
"You're not going up here," he said, breathing heavily and guarding the stairs with his body. "Leave him alone."
If he was so angry over a little bit of wallpaper, I dreaded imagining what he would do to me if I continued to press him. As I looked up the staircase and heard my child crying, I was completely frozen. This was not how I wanted to raise my children, in fear and violence. The room spun, and I looked for Logan. I ushered him out the door and into our car. Without thinking clearly, I started the ignition and drove directly to my friend's house.
After knocking on the door and being greeted by my friend, I hugged her in tears. There was no need for a hefty explanation; all my friends knew how Greg was.
That night, when I came back home, Greg was furious that I had left the house with Logan and shared our business with my friends.
"F--- you! F--- you! F--- you!" he screamed, as he pointed his finger in my face. "If you were a guy, I would punch you in the face right now."
Even though the ink wouldn't dry on our divorce papers for a few more years, our vows to love and cherish each other were broken. Marriage is more than a piece of paper. I had stayed in my marriage for my children; but at that moment, it struck me that being their father's punching bag would traumatize them more than my leaving him.
I hoped my sons would grow up to be good husbands and cherish their wives. What kind of message would it send if the father they idolized was allowed to speak to their mother like a dog? I didn't want to repeat the same mistakes my parents made, with the broken doors and crashed cars out front. With the unprovoked chaos and the bills that went unpaid.
Like in every area of my life, I fell to my knees in prayer over the decision to leave my marriage. God led me in this decision, and although there were challenging times ahead of us, it was the correct choice. It was time to break the chains of generational trauma and start over. Thankfully, my family is made up of warriors.
At this time, God provided another important person in my life. David was a doctor at the hospital and a deacon at his church. We had mutual respect for each other. We had always connected on the professional level; but after my marriage deteriorated, David and I connected spiritually. I could talk freely about faith with him; and I knew he was a genuinely good man.
I began to wonder what it would be like to be in a relationship where both people lifted each other up and loved each other unconditionally. The more time I spent getting to know David, the more obvious it was that I could no longer remain married to Greg.
When you start to speak up for yourself, expect a challenge. If other people benefit from keeping you silent, they are not going to like it when you raise your voice. I was new to exercising my voice.
I told Greg we needed marriage counseling after the wallpaper incident. It was like igniting a bomb. He told me, "I'm Greg Paul, and I can fix anything. We don't need marriage counseling."
The following weeks through the holidays were a disaster. It was obvious to me that we were headed towards divorce. Shannon visited us for Christmas and initially urged me not to divorce Greg. Then she witnessed the disrespect and tension in our home.
After she left, she called me, “Hey Sissy, I saw everything I needed to see. You’re right to divorce Greg. I support your decision.”
It was validating to hear her words. Other family members echoed Shannon’s concerns and had my back. A few weeks later, Greg conceded to counseling.
After a few sessions, the therapist told me, “Your husband is a psycho, and you need to get out of this marriage. He is not going to change.”
I didn’t think therapists were allowed to say that, so I was a little surprised. I decided to put the boys in counseling. Greg seemed to like the new therapist, so we decided to get counseling from her as well. My sense was that Greg was trying to sway her to take his side. He would bring her coffee and flirt shamelessly. That didn’t last long.
The only thing left on the table was to get lawyers and proceed with divorce. We legally separated and I was bullied into “shared parenting.” It was surreal -- when we were married, Greg would say things like: the kids are your complete responsibility because I am working. But now, all of a sudden, he wanted shared custody.
In hindsight, I've realized two things: shared parenting gave Greg the opportunity to be a better dad. Unfortunately, it also gave him the opportunity to alienate them from me and emotionally control them.
Greg and I decided that I would move into our rental home in Rocky River. At this point, I was dreaming about what a healthy relationship would look like.
A few months later, David and I pursued a real relationship. Instead of looking in the mirror, Greg had a scapegoat and blamed the entire divorce on David. He would tell the kids I was a gold digger and a liar. He told my sons I was having some sort of sordid affair. My sons heard this refrain again and again when they were children.
Alienating your children from their mother is another form of abuse.
They worshiped their father; he was their hero when they were young, so his words carried weight. I couldn't understand Greg. He begged me to come back; yet just a few weeks after we separated, he started dating a girl from his office whom he introduced to our children. She was always at our house; it was like they were living together. It was baffling. It saddens me to this day that Greg cannot understand how he drove me away.
Meanwhile, David took it all in stride -- calm and steady. He gave me the strength to dare to be loved wholly and unconditionally.
I didn't introduce my sons to David until the following October 2002; we dated for an additional year before he proposed to me on vacation in Prague. While I was glad to be starting new life; I still battled all stress Greg unfairly placed on Jake and Logan by feeding them untrue and inappropriate information. The strain even caused me to break out in hives days before my wedding. I had been forced to choose sides once when I chose Greg over my family; so it was agonizing to witness my children feeling like they had to choose sides.
Jake still remembers his dad coaching him on how to object to the wedding during the vows. (Thankfully, we didn't include that part in the ceremony.) We did, however, include a line in our vows about not taking each other for granted. We wanted to vow to be there for each other from the very beginning.
I doubt David knew what kind of ride he was stepping on when he became part of our wild bunch! Marrying him was probably the calmest decision I ever made. Everything else? Pure circus. And he still bought a ticket.
Thankfully, he's taken each new chapter with the kind of grace you'd expect from someone who's mastered the art of quietly holding everything together. His calm and steady demeanor might not win him the most airtime, but that's probably for the best. We already have enough showboats in this family to fill a yacht.