A mom-of-two found a genius way of getting her infant son to sleep, but when she checked in on his baby cam, what she saw left her heartbroken.
Parenthood brings with it a myriad of challenges that change and evolve as children grow up. In the first few years at least, one of the biggest centers on sleep, or rather the lack of it.
According to one 2019 study published in the journal Sleep, moms and dads can expect to experience some form of sleep deprivation for the first six years of their child's life.
For those parents in the trenches of that developmental stage, exhaustion and frustration can set in when a child struggles to get the necessary rest.
Louise Wright, from Nottinghamshire in the U.K, knows this only too well. She's a mom of two with 7-year-old and 4-month-old boys to contend with.
Right now, it's the younger of her two sons who is proving problematic at bedtime.
"He is 4 months old and in the 4-month sleep regression which is really tough, especially when I have another kid to settle," Wright said. "The days feel long when they don't nap and so you often count down until bedtime. It can be really frustrating pacing the room waiting for them to sleep then trying to transfer them into their cot."
One night recently, Wright hit upon an idea to help her understandably clingy son get off to sleep when she put him down in his bed. "I decided to take off my T-shirt and put it beside him," Wright said.
Aware that it wouldn't be safe for him to sleep the whole night through alongside the garment, Wright switched on her son's baby cam and moved to the other room where she would watch and wait until he was fast asleep.
But then something unexpected happened.
"As I watched him, I sat down for the first time that day and of course as a parent all the guilt begins to sneak in that you yelled too much or wished the time away," Wright said. "As I watched him snuffle up to my T-shirt and take comfort from it I felt so sad for rushing the bedtime process because all he needed was me, his mum."
Eager to express the conflicting emotions she felt in that moment, Wright posted a clip of the baby cam footage to her TikTok, @lemon_squeezey, explaining how watching her son cuddle into the T-shirt left her feeling "so guilty."
This feeling of guilt wasn't just focused solely on her younger son either.
"My other boy is 7 and although he's independent and can do his own thing while he waits for me to settle his brother, it's not fair on him to miss out on time or to have a snappy irritable parent," Wright said.
The video was met with a positive response though as other moms online sought to reassure her. "You're an amazing mum," one viewer wrote. "It's very valid to feel touched out and overstimulated but in the end of it all."
Wright hopes the video reminds people how tough motherhood can be in these moments. "It's lonely being a mum and sometimes you can feel as though you are the only one in the depths of sleep deprivation," she said.
Though she may have been struggling at that precise moment, the response this clip and many others like it, that she has shared online, has helped her realize she is not alone. "I've built a great community of mum friends," she said.
One day her kids will both sleep soundly in their beds. Until then, Wright is determined to enjoy every moment she can.