A 28-year-old woman turned to Reddit for advice on whether or not she should go home for the holidays due to past family tensions. She explained that her 38-year-old sister will be there, and she, along with two of her other sisters, "are no-contact or low-contact with her for various reasons."
"To put it briefly, she has been extremely toxic over the years and has caused a lot of family chaos... Christmas was my least favorite holiday growing up because she always found some way to ruin it (complaining about gifts, cancelling last minute after everyone bent over backwards to accommodate her, or just trying to cause drama)," she wrote.
"At this point, my parents are really the only people she still has a relationship with," she added.
Adding more context, the poster noted that one of her other sisters has decided to skip the family gathering this year to avoid the drama. However, the woman is still debating whether or not she should attend.
"My mom seems hurt that I don't want to come, and she's been guilt-tripping me a bit," the woman wrote. "She said, 'She will behave, I already talked to her about that.' "
"The fact that my mom had to have that conversation at all makes me very uneasy. If someone has to be instructed to 'behave' before a family holiday, that doesn't give me much confidence the gathering will be peaceful or lead to her thinking this is a doorway to rekindling our relationship," she added.
The poster noted that she didn't attend the Christmas gathering last year either because her older sister was there and the timing simply "didn't work" since her boyfriend had to work the next day and they live a few hours away.
"This upset my mom, but I think it is worse now this year, now that my little sister isn't going (she went last year, before deciding to cut off our older sister again)," she explained.
"So now I feel torn between protecting my peace and disappointing my mom. AITA if I don't go?" she ended.
People in the comments section told the woman that sometimes disappointing your parents is the byproduct of setting necessary boundaries.
"To live a happy life, sometimes you need to disappoint your parents," one person wrote.
"Don't go and tell mom your happiness is important. You'll find another day to celebrate xmas with her alone as a visit. or left over meals but not a celebration with sister there. Full stop. Leave if sister shows up," another person wrote.