Meet The Post's brand-new advice columnists, Gail Rudnick and Kim Murstein -- the no-nonsense hosts of hit podcast series Excuse My Grandma.
From family feuds to friendship fallouts, money, marriage and sex, there's no topic too taboo to tackle -- and the native New Yorkers will hash out each issue from their differing perspectives to tell the tough-love truth -- and you'll thank them for it.
I have a much lower sex drive than my partner, and sex is starting to feel like a chore instead of something I enjoy. How do you talk about this without hurting your relationship?
Grandma Gail: It does happen often. Somebody does want to have sex, somebody doesn't. Everybody's hormones are different. You know, it has to be a little bit spontaneous. If it's too planned, it can get stale and boring. You can't just say, "Tuesday night at 7 p.m., we're going to have sex in between the kid having a bottle, and you doing your work." No, I don't think that works. It really has to be something that really just goes casually into the event.
Kim: Figuring out who the initiator is is important. If it's always your partner, maybe you can have a conversation and say, "Next time, I want to initiate." And then you can do it when you're really in the mood. And then maybe it will level out the playing field again.
Grandma Gail: I don't think you even have to say, "Next time, I'm going to do it." Just do it.
Kim: Genuinely, sometimes people -- no matter who the partner is -- have a lower sex drive than others.
Grandma Gail: That's true. Well, that you can't change, but you can make it a little more fun. Maybe open your bathrobe when they come home from work. Wear an apron and be nude underneath when you’re cooking.
Kim: Where did you learn that tip?
Grandma Gail: Oh, I was a sexy lady. Enjoy it. Don’t put so much stress on it. Even if it’s just kissing, just a little hug, just a little more affection.
Kim: Yeah. Even if you’re not in the mood to have sex, you can be in the mood to be intimate, and have that connection with your partner — and I think that’s totally understandable.
Dear Excuse My Advice,
I might have an inkling that my dad might be seeing another woman. Do I share my suspicions with my mom?
Grandma Gail: No! No, don’t share suspicions with anybody. Make sure first, and then if you find out he actually does have somebody else, then absolutely. But you’d better be 100% sure. I would be very careful before you really broach that.
Once it’s out of the box, you can never put it back in. It’s the breaking up of the family in those cases.
Kim: And say, “I found out about this. Be honest with me right now. And if you are not going to tell Mom, I will have to. But I would really prefer you handle this with her.”
Grandma Gail: But it happens. It happens. That was very good advice -- I like your reasoning in that.